The Bernie Sanders 10-Step Plan For Ending Poverty

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.85% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.15% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

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The Bernie Sanders 10-Step Plan For Ending Poverty

Published: Sunday, January 29th, 2023 @ 9:21 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Hey folks, Bernie Sanders here! I am once again asking for your support in eradicating systemic poverty from the face of the earth. America can do it, but we won't because America is immoral and Elon Musk has all the money. Horrible! I have a simple ten-step plan that is foolproof - and I should know because I've been to the Soviet Union and it's a paradise over there, let me tell you!

    Here are the steps:

Abort all the poor babies: Fewer poor babies means fewer poor people. It's simple math, which I am very good at.
Tax rich people until they're poor: If everyone is poor then no one will be.
Give everyone money until they become middle class: We cannot rest until Tom Hanks and John Doe are shopping at the same grocery store. Then maybe I can get an autograph!
Drop Elon Musk off the Empire State Building: This is how we win, America!
Print more money: Unexpected expenses can be paid for with a giant savings account everyone can access. The beauty of it is that if it's overdrawn we can just print more money! Why haven't we done this yet?
Offload our health care to Cuba: Sailing to Cuba for treatment will also build muscle, making you healthier overall! Is there anything Cuba can't do?
Force greedy business owners to lower all their prices: If we force them to sell products at a loss they will automatically qualify for non-profit protections, which means when they go into debt they can stay in business because money is meaningless.
Do whatever Venezuela did: We might need oil. From them. NO FRACKING! Maybe drugs.
Blow up all the banks like the end of Fight Club: Except for the fed. It's America's bank!
Let them eat cake: Chocolate, with a Hugo Chavez picture drawn in whip cream. Delish!

It's just that easy, friends! Don't forget to vote for me! I'm probably still running for president! I'm Bernie Sanders!

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