New Evidence Suggests Walls Of Jericho Fell After Joshua Finished Sick Sax Solo | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ISRAEL     Newly uncovered evidence shows that the walls of Jericho crumbled to the ground right after Joshua finished playing an absolutely boss saxophone solo.

    "We now believe that shortly after the trumpets blasted, Joshua broke out the tenor sax," said researcher Dr. Stan McGovern. "The contemporaneous documents we have universally describe the solo Joshua unleashed being 'totally sick'."

    Scholars report that after six straight days of priests blowing trumpets outside Jericho, the city was completely caught off guard by Joshua's rich, velvety sax. "No one, I mean no one, expected Joshua to pull a tenor sax out of his cloak," said Old Testament historian Alan Reese. "We believe the solo lasted at least five minutes, and made Kenny G look like a talentless rube. The shouts of the Israelite army recorded in Scripture were likely people cheering for an encore."

    Before the saxophone eruption, researchers now believe Joshua's assistant Caleb played the 'bone while Eleazar took the bass line for a walk. "They got funky," said Dr. McGovern. "Hittin' those off-beats, bee-bopping. But Joshua - he brought the house down, if you know what I mean! Hey-O!"
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Satan Testifies Before Congress In Defense Of TikTok Babylon Bee, News Services, Editorials, Government, Op-Ed & Politics, State and Federal 'This Is Just Like Nazi Germany!' Cries Liberal As Parent Removes Porn From Elementary School


HbAD0

Latest State and Federal

A pro-life activist suspects nefarious intentions behind the FBI sending agents to her childhood home last month.
Sam Brinton, the “nonbinary” activist tapped by Joe Biden for a key nuclear role before he was fired for stealing women’s clothes, was arrested again Wednesday night as a “fugitive from justice” for allegedly stealing luggage, The Daily Wire has learned.
Deutsche Bank agreed to pay $75 million to settle a lawsuit accusing the company of failing to recognize the sex trafficking conducted by Jeffrey Epstein, the deceased pedophile hedge fund manager who was once a client of the firm.
Massive "city" of enormous wind turbines would severely conflict with military training and operations
Retail giant Target has lost $10 billion in market capitalization in ten days, largely due to the backlash over prominent LGBTQ+ PRIDE displays including transgender-friendly clothing items for children.
The N.C. State Board of Elections is updating voter registration forms to comply with the state Supreme Court's ruling against felon voting.
A senior Belarusian official on Sunday reportedly threatened to use recently transported tactical nuclear weapons in a warning to Western politicians urging them not to cross strategic issue “red lines” with their Russian ally.
A university researcher felt threatened when pressed by a staffer to Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) and a Democrat senator seeking help to suss out alleged links between former President Donald Trump and Russia, special counsel John Durham revealed this week.
In a trio of rulings Friday, the N.C. Supreme Court restored the state's voter ID law, took state courts out of partisan gerrymandering disputes, and ended voting for felons who have not completed their sentences.

HbAD1

Florida Republican governor and 2024 presidential candidate Ron DeSantis (R) recently signed a bill that bans children from attending events that include “sexually explicit content,” such as drag shows or drag brunches.
Lawyers for The Covenant School in Nashville filed a motion on Monday to intervene in lawsuits calling for the release of the 28-year-old female mass shooter’s manifesto, citing security and safety concerns for staff and students at the private education institution.
Democrat Gov. Roy Cooper has appointed state Capitol Police Chief R.E. “Chip” Hawley to serve as the director of the North Carolina State Bureau of Investigation. Hawley will fill the vacancy left when Director Robert Schurmeier’s term ends on June 30, 2023.
Last August the State Board of Education approved a 6-month delay in the standards revision timeline for Healthful Living Standards. Under the timeline, the first draft of the new standards was scheduled to be released in February 2023.
Special counsel John Durham is set to testify on Capitol Hill next month after releasing his report excoriating the FBI over its handling of investigations into the 2016 Trump campaign and Russia.
Six applicants have filed certificate of need applications with the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services to acquire one or more mobile MRI scanner(s) in response to a need determination in the 2023 State Medical Facilities Plan
"This is proof positive that North Carolina politicians and bureaucrats are prepared to trample on the rights of private property owners in order to benefit favored business interests,” said Jon Guze, Senior Fellow for Legal Studies at the John Locke Foundation.
Democrats love having illegal aliens flood the country. No, not because they are children of God, or whatever platitudes the Dems throw around in vain.

HbAD2

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) touted victories that conservatives secured over the weekend as lawmakers reached a last-minute agreement to avoid the U.S. defaulting on its debt.
A government watchdog told Congress on Wednesday the Taliban may be stealing money from the billions of dollars from U.S. taxpayers meant to help the people of Afghanistan.
The Texas House of Representatives took the unprecedented move to impeach Attorney General Ken Paxton on Saturday following an investigation into allegations of corruption.
Veteran bank executives are meeting with senior lawmakers and federal officials as the government comes within two weeks of a potential debt default.
This week on “The Debrief”: – Donna King is on assignment, speaking from the United States’ southern border.
A fight and a gunshot forced one of Chicago’s most popular summer spots to close just hours after opening for Memorial Day weekend.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed five pieces of legislation into law on Wednesday to protect children in the state from harmful leftist initiatives, including mutilating surgical procedures, radical gender ideology in schools, and sexually explicit drag queen shows.
The North Carolina Supreme Court correctly decided that partisan gerrymandering claims are “nonjusticiable, political questions”
Twitter owner Elon Musk doubled down on supporting free speech during an interview this week, saying that he will say whatever he wants to say and he is fine if he loses money over it.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top