A local man was tragically rendered unable to brush his teeth after he mistakenly neglected to pay the monthly subscription fee on his smart electric toothbrush.
Published: Saturday, March 23rd, 2024 @ 2:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
During a recent press conference, Mayor Eric Adams announced that he will no longer tolerate migrant attacks against NYPD officers, warning that further incidents would result in a downgrade in migrant living accommodations from luxurious 5-star hotels to humble 4-star establishments.
Published: Wednesday, February 28th, 2024 @ 11:02 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
As children of the 1980s now having our own kids, we often look back at our own childhoods and think: "I can't believe my parents let me do that." Parenting back in the 1980s was simply a different ball game than parenting today.
Published: Saturday, February 17th, 2024 @ 3:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
"My constituents are terrified."
Published: Wednesday, February 7th, 2024 @ 10:57 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
Former top NC political donor Greg Lindberg's lawyers appeared at the state Appeals Court Wednesday to battle orders linked to a $600 million court judgement against him.
Published: Tuesday, January 30th, 2024 @ 1:37 am
By: Carolina Journal
|
Amid charges that Elon Musk's social media app "X" has become a dangerous breeding ground for speech Communists don't like, Apple CEO Tim Cook has elected to pull all Apple advertising from the platform.
Published: Thursday, January 25th, 2024 @ 2:05 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
A teenage member of Generation Z, whose name is sealed by court records, was persuaded to attend several therapy sessions after her parents grew concerned with her lack of anxiety or depression.
Published: Wednesday, January 24th, 2024 @ 12:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
America's largest abortion provider raked in over $1.5 billion in taxpayer money from 2019 to 2021
Published: Monday, January 1st, 2024 @ 3:47 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
In an unsurprising discovery, local boomer Susan Leigh's iPhone photo album was revealed to be exclusively made up of accidental screenshots.
Published: Thursday, December 28th, 2023 @ 8:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
New York City Mayor Eric Adams said the 25-year-old woman who served as his chief political fundraiser is no longer working in that position, nearly a month after federal agents raided her Brooklyn home.
Published: Monday, December 11th, 2023 @ 12:49 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
Federal authorities have launched a criminal public corruption investigation into whether the 2021 election campaign of New York City Democrat Mayor Eric Adams conspired with a foreign government to receive illegal donations.
Published: Saturday, November 18th, 2023 @ 1:33 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
In recognition of the hard-working Uyghur people enslaved in China, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced new iPhones would be etched with the name of the slave who assembled them.
Published: Wednesday, November 15th, 2023 @ 11:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
In a beautiful display of solidarity between oppressed people groups, Black Lives Matter has spray painted the words "Justice For Palestine" on the front of a Nike store they just looted.
Published: Monday, October 23rd, 2023 @ 7:15 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Hunter Biden’s legal team on Wednesday filed a lawsuit against a former Trump White House staffer, accusing him of violating California and federal computer privacy laws by publishing thousands of photos and emails from the infamous laptop belonging to the president’s son.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 3:35 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
BEMIDJI, MN — With inflation and other economic woes continuing to plague the nation, The White House took the time to assure the nation over Labor Day that these troubling issues were only affecting people who needed to buy stuff.
Published: Saturday, September 9th, 2023 @ 3:19 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Speaking from the White House, President Biden announced his administration's bold plan to require all wildfires be electric by 2025.
Published: Wednesday, July 26th, 2023 @ 12:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
A local man was excited by the announcement of Apple's new augmented reality headset but was left disappointed by the high price tag. Unable to afford the new headset, the man has found the next best thing by duct-taping his iPhone onto the front of a pair of old ski goggles.
Published: Sunday, July 16th, 2023 @ 10:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
The tech world is abuzz over an innovative new productivity app now available for iPhone and Android. The app is said to boost productivity by simply turning the phone off for a very long time.
Published: Sunday, July 2nd, 2023 @ 6:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
After losing much of his personal wealth, his children, his physical health, and his reputation among his friends, witnesses report local patriarch Job had finally lost the will to live after discovering his cell phone had died.
Published: Sunday, June 18th, 2023 @ 2:56 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Opponents of school choice claim that private schools are unaccountable because they don’t have to satisfy every testing mandate required of traditional public schools, yet private schools are subject to the highest standard of accountability: parents
Published: Thursday, June 8th, 2023 @ 11:52 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
|
Twitter owner Elon Musk warned during an interview this week that U.S. policymakers should take China’s threats of taking over Taiwan “seriously” because the communist nation is not kidding around when it comes to its intent to do so.
Published: Saturday, June 3rd, 2023 @ 10:50 am
By: Daily Wire
|
Tesla said it will build an additional plant in Shanghai, China, to meet worldwide demand for large batteries even after the communist nation’s manufacturing sector took several blows as a result of aggressive government lockdowns.
Published: Thursday, May 11th, 2023 @ 12:13 am
By: Daily Wire
|
While Dave Ramsey purists have long touted the importance of following his strict budgeting plan as written, one Southern California family has taken an innovative approach: calling it "Dave Ramsey Lite," where they just avoid budgeting altogether and spend well beyond their means.
Published: Friday, March 31st, 2023 @ 11:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Bob and Louise Herman reportedly caused ruinous, irredeemable destruction on their teenager's life forever for the fifth time today.
Published: Monday, March 20th, 2023 @ 2:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
For the 157th day in a row, family man Darren Cooper has resisted the siren call of an update for his iPhone that "provides important bug fixes and security updates."
Published: Thursday, March 16th, 2023 @ 1:08 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
What a 2020 NC report tells us about this critical avenue for American companies
Published: Friday, March 10th, 2023 @ 12:08 am
By: John Locke Foundation
|
Why Americans should take note of the serious risk China poses, both via balloons and social media
Published: Sunday, February 19th, 2023 @ 6:14 pm
By: John Locke Foundation
|
The current stance of the Biden administration appears to be that 13-year-olds are too young for TikTok but old enough to change their gender.
Published: Thursday, February 9th, 2023 @ 9:22 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
Is your husband cheating on you? We here at the Babylon Bee hate marital infidelity, so we consulted marriage experts to learn all the troubling signs to look for when a man isn't being faithful.
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 3:20 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
One of the most noteworthy geopolitical and economic developments in modern history has been the emergence of China as a superpower. The miraculous rise of the once-ascendent communist nation, however, could lose tremendous momentum as the strength of its manufacturing sector rapidly dissipates.
Published: Saturday, December 24th, 2022 @ 4:45 am
By: Daily Wire
|
Local dad Cory Logan glanced up from his iPhone today to mutter something or other to his teenage son about the dangers of technology.
Published: Saturday, December 24th, 2022 @ 3:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Twitter CEO Elon Musk said Friday that he will start to create smartphones if Apple and Google remove Twitter from their app stores, a move that would be highly damaging to the social media company.
Published: Tuesday, December 20th, 2022 @ 8:52 am
By: Daily Wire
|
Protests have broken out throughout communist China in response to revamped coronavirus lockdown measures that have gone back into effect amid a skyrocketing number of coronavirus infections.
Published: Monday, December 19th, 2022 @ 6:27 pm
By: Daily Wire
|