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After years of training to be a pilot for the Rebel Alliance, eager young pilot Nej Berik was devastated to discover he had been assigned to fly the totally lame B-wing fighter.
After years of training to be a pilot for the Rebel Alliance, eager young pilot Nej Berik was devastated to discover he had been assigned to fly the totally lame B-wing fighter.
 
Controversial former U.S. women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe was not unemployed for long, as the Galactic Empire reportedly recruited the recently retired athlete to train its stormtroopers to shoot.
Controversial former U.S. women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe was not unemployed for long, as the Galactic Empire reportedly recruited the recently retired athlete to train its stormtroopers to shoot.
 
Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.
Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.
 
The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
 
Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
 
Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
Appearing before the Senate beneath a mysterious, hooded robe, California Senator Diane Feinstein addressed the hushed audience, speaking in a gravelly, Sidious-like voice.
 
Disney World announced it is shutting down an immersive Star Wars luxury hotel that opened in March 2022.
Disney World announced it is shutting down an immersive Star Wars luxury hotel that opened in March 2022.
 
A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have "The Talk"...about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn't avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
A local father determined the time had come to sit his young son down and officially have "The Talk"...about the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The man reportedly knew he couldn't avoid it any longer once the boy began to talk about how great The Last Jedi was.
 
In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
 
In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
 
According to sources, President Biden's team is planning to submerge the President in a bacta tank tonight so his mind and body will be prepared for his upcoming State of the Union address.
According to sources, President Biden's team is planning to submerge the President in a bacta tank tonight so his mind and body will be prepared for his upcoming State of the Union address.
 
Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.
Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.
 
The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.
The conflict among congressional Republicans took yet another surprise twist today. After what had initially started as a throwaway nomination, the nation was left stunned as the position of Speaker of the House was unexpectedly filled by Jar Jar Binks.
 
A local Star Wars fan was excitedly awaiting the premiere of the new Andor series on Disney+ so that he will have fresh material about which he can spend the next several weeks complaining to anyone who dares to come near him.
A local Star Wars fan was excitedly awaiting the premiere of the new Andor series on Disney+ so that he will have fresh material about which he can spend the next several weeks complaining to anyone who dares to come near him.
 
After another controversial video was released showing the dark Jedi Force-choking a suspected Jedi Monday afternoon, Dark Lord of the Sith Supreme Darth Vader has been jailed on suspicion of excessive use of the Force.
After another controversial video was released showing the dark Jedi Force-choking a suspected Jedi Monday afternoon, Dark Lord of the Sith Supreme Darth Vader has been jailed on suspicion of excessive use of the Force.
 
Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th.
Orthodox Star Wars fans have reportedly begun preparations for Star Wars Day, which they say occurs on May 11th.
 
Elon Musk and a brave band of adventurers snuck aboard the Twitter Death Star to free prisoners located on the space station's detention level, sources with the Galactic Rebellion confirm.
Elon Musk and a brave band of adventurers snuck aboard the Twitter Death Star to free prisoners located on the space station's detention level, sources with the Galactic Rebellion confirm.
 
The Force Awakens is an outstanding return to the Star Wars franchise.
The Force Awakens is an outstanding return to the Star Wars franchise.
 
Andrew Jack, an actor who starred in the “Star Wars” franchise and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, died Tuesday from coronavirus-related complications.
Andrew Jack, an actor who starred in the “Star Wars” franchise and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, died Tuesday from coronavirus-related complications.
 
Is it really time for the Jedi to end?
 
A few days ago an investigative reporter did a look back on the history of businessman, Donald Trump
A few days ago an investigative reporter did a look back on the history of businessman, Donald Trump
 
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