Doctors Now Prescribing Krispy Kremes To Kids For 'Fat-Affirming Care' | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.-With pediatric associations now in agreement that "gender-affirming care,"-in which children are drugged to block puberty and then dismembered through surgery-is 100% scientific and beneficial to kids, they are now introducing "fat-affirming care" for children. In this new field of medicine, kids will be given boxes of Krispy Kremes to eat every day until their body better matches their self-image.

    "It's important that we start teaching kids from a very young age that there may be a fat kid inside them trying to get out," said Pediatrician James Quack. "After years of diligent fat studies indoctrination, kids might decide they are actually fat. For those kids, it's important to immediately get them on a diet of at least 8,000 calories per day."

    The American Academy of Pediatrics consulted with McDonald's, Burger King, and Krispy Kreme in forming their recommendations for minor kids who identify as trans-fat. They are prescribing steady diets of burgers, fries, shakes, ice cream, and doughnuts to ensure kids become obese as soon as possible.

    "If we don't do this, kids will literally commit mass suicide," said Dr. Quack. "That's what this fake study that I didn't read says, anyway. And if you disagree with any of our recommendations, you are a bigot who wants kids to die."

    "Trans-fat kids EXIST, and there's nothing you can do about it," he said while clapping his hands loudly.

    The Biden Administration announced they will direct funding to public schools for Krispy Kreme to deliver boxes of doughnuts to trans-fat kids while they are at school without their parent's permission or knowledge. "This is the compassionate thing to do, folks," said Biden.

    Pediatricians have announced that next month they will be unveiling "Anorexic-affirming care" which will starve kids who have Anorexia.