Nate Silver Prepares For Biennial Tradition Of Screaming That His Wildly Erroneous Polls Were Somehow Right | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     Famed pollster Nate Silver has begun preparations for his biennial tradition of screaming on national television about how his completely erroneous polls were actually correct.

    "You don't understand! None of you understand!!" shouted Mr. Silver, pulling even more patches of hair out. "Everything turning out the exact opposite of what I said is because of margin of error metrics and z-score analysis and I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU DO BETTER SAMANTHA!!!"

    The tradition first began in 2016, when Mr. Silver pulled out half of his hair and then lit himself on fire during an interview on NBC. "It's become a real hallmark of our election coverage," said anchor Samantha Guthrie. "We watch every prediction get crushed in real-time, then observe as Mr. Silver slowly implodes. In 2020 we had an office pool on how long it would take before he declared that his polls were right, but people voted wrong. Thirty minutes! Thanks, Florida!"

    In hopes of preventing the usual meltdown, Mr. Silver has demanded that people attempt their own predictions before making fun of the fact that he got everything wrong. "If you aren't better than me at my job, you can't tease me!" said Mr. Silver. "Those are the rules, right??"

    Turnabout being fair play, Mr. Silver's surgeon demanded that Mr. Silver try performing an appendectomy himself before saying anything critical about how his surgery turned out.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




9 New Ways Elon Musk Will Monetize Twitter Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Controversy As SNL Invites Real Live Comedian To Perform


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

President Joe Biden took direct aim at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas during a recent interview, referring to him simply as “the guy who likes to spend a lot of time on yachts.”
The best way the county and city can help hold down inflation is to resist all tax increases
Pope Francis lambasted leftist gender ideology during an address this week, warning that it presented an extreme danger to mankind.
amnesty would just encourage more illegal aliens to storm our borders
The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
far left sugar daddy has also funded anti-Israel groups and politicians in US
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
America needs to wake up and get its priorities right

HbAD1

Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.
University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024
Biden spending and energy policies to blame

HbAD2

Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.
Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.
Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top