Joel Osteen Bankrupt After Local Woman Names And Claims His Estate | Eastern North Carolina Now | In a shocking turn of events, famed prosperity gospel preacher Joel Osteen has suddenly gone bankrupt after local woman Carissa Stewart named and claimed his entire estate.

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    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HOUSTON, TX     In a shocking turn of events, famed prosperity gospel preacher Joel Osteen has suddenly gone bankrupt after local woman Carissa Stewart named and claimed his entire estate.

    "Welp, that backfired," said a homeless Mr. Osteen as he watched Ms. Stewart drive away in his Lamborghini. "Probably should have set a few guidelines on what exactly you are entitled to by simply claiming it as your own."

    After decades of teaching that God will automatically grant the lusts of one's heart so long as that person 'claims it', Ms. Stewart promptly walked up to the stage and claimed everything Mr. Osteen owned. "It seemed like a long shot, but I really wanted his mansion. That thing is dope," said Ms. Stewart as she received the keys. "I just walked up and claimed it all, then said that if I didn't receive my claim, his entire ministry would be an obvious sham. I got all his millions, but I guess he kept his pride. I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a good thing for Christians or not."

    Having heard of the debacle, fellow prosperity gospel preachers derided Mr. Osteen's idiocy. "Ha! What a dummy!" said Kenneth Copeland as he jumped into his private jet. "You always have to have a caveat that none of the poors can actually claim something that a rich man already owns. That's prosperity gospel 101!"

    At publishing time, Mr. Osteen had tried to name and claim his estate back, but Ms. Stewart informed him that she "didn't believe in that crap."
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Comments

( November 21st, 2022 @ 7:50 am )
 
🤔hummm wealth of the wicked is laid up for the just really kenneth Coleman your fake with your101 rule Judgment day is here in the Land did you know that the woman claimed it she recieve it we have not cause we ask not go back and read your bible
Ellen said:
( November 20th, 2022 @ 7:14 pm )
 
For Heaven sakes, this could have only been the action of a santanic human, If she would have listened to his words that he was preaching it was straight from the Bible.
Donna said:
( November 20th, 2022 @ 4:30 pm )
 
Good enough he got what coming he got rich off the backs of poor people and he has sold out to the devil
( November 20th, 2022 @ 9:41 am )
 
Well I don't believe that can actually happen good try anyway ! But if it did happen it was Satan's daughter that claimed all of Mr.Osteen property and money ! If she can do I can do it, so let me think about all I claim IN our lord and fathers name.... hummm I claim all of Warren Buffets wealth, power, and fame in my lord and savor Jesus Christ name to bless me with all I claim as mine !!! Amen 🙏 Thank you in advance Father God !!🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️...
( November 19th, 2022 @ 7:02 pm )
 
If she is not a Believer, she's not a Receiver !

You were Blessed for the many yrs of your ministry. I am pretty sure Paul never returned the money he sold his tents for!

You are lawyered up, listen to their advice.

When you get it back, and you will, You and your wife know what is required of yourselves!
( November 19th, 2022 @ 2:33 pm )
 
Joel really should have, or maybe he would have been wiser to keep that 'claiming of temporal wealth' motif to a negative or at least a bare minimum.

Of course, this analogy of mine is purely farcical since the B. Bee is a purely satirical publication.
( November 19th, 2022 @ 11:08 am )
 
Sad day for Joel not covering himself better. Should never leave your assets open to partitioners in your house of God.



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