Teacher Frustrated As Half Her Students Detransitioned Over Christmas Break | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BEAVERTON, OR     Third-grade teacher Ms. Gaywood (she/her) became frustrated during the first day back from the holiday break when she discovered half her students had detransitioned and were no longer identifying as made-up genders.

    "You were all beautiful specks of uncompromising individuality, and now you're conforming to a heteronormative, patriarchal society," a frustrated Gaywood complained to the group of children who had been fearfully and wonderfully made as unique individuals in the image of God. "What happened?"

    Students who had relapsed into a toxic heteronormative lifestyle admitted they weren't sure how to act as anything other than who they were without their instructor's constant guidance. "I forgot your lesson about mansplaining," mansplained Robert Cliff, a young boy who previously identified as a powerful she-elf named Persephone. "And my older brother said I can't have babies!"

    "You lied!"

    Ms. Gaywood reportedly tried to ignore this setback and begin lessons on the racist history of Greek mathematicians in light of the Antebellum South, but the class became unruly and asked her to define what a woman is.

    "I used to think I was a 23-year-old man but now I'm really thinking I'm a girl like my mom says," said student Sarah Harden.

    Ms. Gaywood, who said she would have clutched her pearls if she was one of the stereotypical women who like jewelry, immediately complained to the school principal and contacted Child Protective Services. "These kids are being raised by their parents!"

    At publishing time, CPS representatives from the Portland area relocated the unruly children into gender-affirming foster homes.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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