Netflix 'Narnia' Adaptation To Feature First Black White Witch | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LOS GATOS, CA     In a move celebrated by casual viewers but criticized by longtime fans of C.S. Lewis's children's book series The Chronicles Of Narnia, Netflix has released marketing materials confirming that The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe will feature the first-ever black White Witch.

    "We wanted a more sympathetic approach to the famously white villain, and believe us - you're going to love the changes in store for each of Lewis's most beloved characters, which reflect the world we live in today." Showrunner Matthew Alrich wrote in a series of Tweets announcing the move. "We hope that sassy black girls everywhere will be able to see themselves in this powerful, sympathetic, and feminist take on a misunderstood character."

    Details have also emerged confirming that Aslan would be reimagined as an atheist, Mx. Tumnus would explore his new identity as an oppressed trans-fawn, and Susan Pevensie will be in a queer polyamorous relationship with several Narnian misfits.

    While much of the chatter around the production has centered around whether Netflix would make Narnia "the new Game Of Thrones," few anticipated the development of a race-reversed witch, presented as a misunderstood anti-hero. Filmmaker Rian Johnson voiced his support in a comment: "It's all about subversion, baby! Just look at my groundbreaking movie that reinvented Star Wars: The Last Jedi!"

    At publishing time, Netflix announced they had bought the rights for Lewis's Surprised By Joy, a reflective memoir about Lewis grappling with his faith in the wake of his wife's death from cancer. Netflix says audiences will love their "fresh, modern take," and their story will follow Lewis as he abandons his dying wife to live his truth. The Year of Me will star Idris Elba as C.S. Lewis and is slated for release on the platform in 2024.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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