The 9 Types Of People You Meet In A Church Prayer Circle | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    A healthy prayer life is essential for Christians and the prayer circle is scientifically proven to be the most effective way of praying. Forming an actual circle by holding hands may not be required, but it makes your prayer 10% more audible to God.

    Be advised, you're going to meet a few eccentrics in your prayer circle. We want you prepared now lest you get surprised and your prayer becomes hindered.

    Here are the types of people you'll meet in a prayer circle:

1. The Hand Squeezer: Awkward.
2. Unspoken Prayer Request Guy: Probably some embarrassing sexual sin. Ugh, why is he squeezing your hand?!
3. The One-Upper: Everything this individual says seems to be a direct response to every other prayer in the circle. For example, if someone asks God for help with their career, they might say, "Lord, please help all of us with our careers. And not just us, but the whole world."
4. Hedge of Protection Guy: You can pray a hedge of protection around literally anything!
5. The Medical Affliction Oversharer: "Lord, please put your hedge of protection around Aunt Millie's feet before the fungus flares up again."
6. The Filibuster: Just when you think they're done, they keep going. COME ON BRAD THERE ARE STILL 5 PEOPLE PRAYING AFTER YOU!
7. Bob McSweaty Hands: Poor guy, he's probably freaking out that he forgot the name of the person he's supposed to pray for.
8. King James: He fits in a lot of "thee" and "thou" language because everyone knows God prefers the King's English.
9. Todd: He seems the most normal at first, but then he says "Daddy God" with a straight face.

    Which one are you?