Productive Day At Work Narrowly Avoided By Last-Minute Meeting | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    OVERLAND PARK, KS     A local company came dangerously close to having a productive day, avoiding it only at the last minute by scheduling a meeting that brought all actual work-related operations to an immediate standstill.

    "That was a close one," said Todd Merriott, Strategy Analyst at FutureTec, a digital marketing firm that does stuff and things for people and businesses. "We had all just gotten back from an extended lunch break and we were all really falling into a groove and getting things done. We were in real danger of being productive today. Fortunately, Brad called a meeting."

    Brad Poppen, FutureTec's Analysis Strategist, sent out calendar invites to all key members of the company, thereby ending any possibility of reaching the day's objectives. "When I saw how much was getting done, I knew I had to step up," he said. "I've always taken pride in my ability to prevent productivity, whether it be through scheduling meetings or just by walking around and showing TikTok videos to everyone. It's one of my greatest strengths."

    Brad's quick thinking helped the FutureTec team keep its streak of unproductive days alive. "We've been doing it for so many days consecutively, we can't break it now," Todd said. "Being on such a historic roll like this means we have to keep it going!"

    At publishing time, FutureTec's board of executives was in discussions to promote Brad to Chief Operations Officer, guaranteeing him a key role from which he will oversee the company's push to achieve its goal of failing to meet all other goals.