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Humor in the most unusual of all places - in the politics of our everyday lives.

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Babylon Bee  

Humor in the most unusual of all places - in the politics of our everyday lives.

AOC is still being held 1 day after her high-profile arrest at the Supreme Court building, as Capitol Police have confirmed that they misplaced the invisible key for her invisible handcuffs.
AOC is still being held 1 day after her high-profile arrest at the Supreme Court building, as Capitol Police have confirmed that they misplaced the invisible key for her invisible handcuffs.
 
The Boston Tea Party was a totally based political protest that took place on December 16, 1773 as a way of speaking out against taxation without representation — but let's face it — the tea got the raw end of that deal. We enjoy a good tea every now and then!
The Boston Tea Party was a totally based political protest that took place on December 16, 1773 as a way of speaking out against taxation without representation — but let's face it — the tea got the raw end of that deal. We enjoy a good tea every now and then!
 
National Public Radio faced criticism last week following the announcement of a Disinformation Reporting Team but was quick to clarify that its role is to spread more disinformation rather than prevent it.
National Public Radio faced criticism last week following the announcement of a Disinformation Reporting Team but was quick to clarify that its role is to spread more disinformation rather than prevent it.
 
After seeing President Biden travel to Saudi Arabia to beg for more oil, North Dakota decided to assassinate and dismember a journalist so the president would let them drill for oil.
After seeing President Biden travel to Saudi Arabia to beg for more oil, North Dakota decided to assassinate and dismember a journalist so the president would let them drill for oil.
 
After hearing about Alex Stein's public applauding of Hispanic hindquarters, Senator Ted Cruz walked back and forth in front of him today, hoping to score a compliment on his own butt.
After hearing about Alex Stein's public applauding of Hispanic hindquarters, Senator Ted Cruz walked back and forth in front of him today, hoping to score a compliment on his own butt.
 
Safety officials have confirmed that the rickety-looking, collapsible roller coaster at your local town carnival, which is currently being operated by a toothless meth addict, is probably fine.
Safety officials have confirmed that the rickety-looking, collapsible roller coaster at your local town carnival, which is currently being operated by a toothless meth addict, is probably fine.
 
Fauci announced this week he will be retiring at the end of Biden's term as president. To recognize Dr. Fauci for his valiant service to the country, the Biden Administration will honor the outgoing COVID Czar with a 21-booster shot salute.
Fauci announced this week he will be retiring at the end of Biden's term as president. To recognize Dr. Fauci for his valiant service to the country, the Biden Administration will honor the outgoing COVID Czar with a 21-booster shot salute.
 
This week, Kurt Ivanson of Point Of Faith Tabernacle warned the congregation that his next song would be an original. The congregation has reported bracing for a very painful 7 to 10 minutes.
This week, Kurt Ivanson of Point Of Faith Tabernacle warned the congregation that his next song would be an original. The congregation has reported bracing for a very painful 7 to 10 minutes.
 
Frustrated drug addicts report inflation has become so out of control, they are now only getting a tenth of the crack they used to be able to buy for the same price.
Frustrated drug addicts report inflation has become so out of control, they are now only getting a tenth of the crack they used to be able to buy for the same price.
 
The January 6th hearings ended early last week when a custodian knocked on the door before poking his head in to request that the January 6th Committee clear out for the next group on the schedule.
The January 6th hearings ended early last week when a custodian knocked on the door before poking his head in to request that the January 6th Committee clear out for the next group on the schedule.
 
Despite an already crowded field consisting of popular incumbent Greg Abbott, Irish drug-addict Robert O'Rourke, and several unknown candidates, a dark horse candidate has threatened to upset the governor's race: Buc-ee Beaver announced his candidacy today.
Despite an already crowded field consisting of popular incumbent Greg Abbott, Irish drug-addict Robert O'Rourke, and several unknown candidates, a dark horse candidate has threatened to upset the governor's race: Buc-ee Beaver announced his candidacy today.
 
While out with friends, local man Kevin Bann put up a valiant effort to feign enjoyment of an orange watery substance with little slimy balls floating in it. His friends have confirmed he is "very cool" and "with the times."
While out with friends, local man Kevin Bann put up a valiant effort to feign enjoyment of an orange watery substance with little slimy balls floating in it. His friends have confirmed he is "very cool" and "with the times."
 
These days it's best if you homeschool your kids, but we understand that not everyone can. So, if you're going to send your kids to public school, at least help them avoid the cancel mob by packing a few essential items in their backpacks.
These days it's best if you homeschool your kids, but we understand that not everyone can. So, if you're going to send your kids to public school, at least help them avoid the cancel mob by packing a few essential items in their backpacks.
 
San Francisco District Attorney Brooke Jenkins announced a bold new direction for the DA's office Friday when she put forward an innovative new plan to arrest people who break the law.
San Francisco District Attorney Brooke Jenkins announced a bold new direction for the DA's office Friday when she put forward an innovative new plan to arrest people who break the law.
 
Labor Secretary Martin J. Walsh spoke with reporters Friday to clarify previous remarks that the rate of inflation had hit 9.1% in June. He explained that his office had accidentally placed the decimal in the wrong place and inflation is actually 91%
Labor Secretary Martin J. Walsh spoke with reporters Friday to clarify previous remarks that the rate of inflation had hit 9.1% in June. He explained that his office had accidentally placed the decimal in the wrong place and inflation is actually 91%
 
Freshly transitioned to a woman, Leslie Roberson tasted the sweet thrill of womanhood this morning as she absolutely smashed her car into a curb.
Freshly transitioned to a woman, Leslie Roberson tasted the sweet thrill of womanhood this morning as she absolutely smashed her car into a curb.
 
President Biden's trip to Saudi Arabia got off to a rocky start, as Biden repeatedly asked the Crown Prince if he could meet Jafar.
President Biden's trip to Saudi Arabia got off to a rocky start, as Biden repeatedly asked the Crown Prince if he could meet Jafar.
 
Show us a pulpit, and you've shown us everything we need to know about its pastor. In fact, our panel of theology experts on staff at The Babylon Bee have the God-given ability to judge with 99.97% accuracy the theology of a church just based on its pulpit.
Show us a pulpit, and you've shown us everything we need to know about its pastor. In fact, our panel of theology experts on staff at The Babylon Bee have the God-given ability to judge with 99.97% accuracy the theology of a church just based on its pulpit.
 
According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton's financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide.
According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton's financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide.
 
TORONTO - Beloved kids' show Paw Patrol has come under fire for daring to have a police officer who is not scum, Chase the German Shepherd.
TORONTO - Beloved kids' show Paw Patrol has come under fire for daring to have a police officer who is not scum, Chase the German Shepherd.
 
U.S. — The advanced AI algorithm built into your phone's photo app has been studying you for years. It knows what you care about and what you think. It organizes all the people you take pictures of into categories and subcategories to help you find the best pictures exactly when you want to.
U.S. — The advanced AI algorithm built into your phone's photo app has been studying you for years. It knows what you care about and what you think. It organizes all the people you take pictures of into categories and subcategories to help you find the best pictures exactly when you want to.
 
In order to allow for more game time and fun activities, the youth ministry of a local church has decided to get rid of preaching altogether.
In order to allow for more game time and fun activities, the youth ministry of a local church has decided to get rid of preaching altogether.
 
Elizabeth Warren has called for a full federal ban on pregnancy centers, claiming they're killing helpless pregnant women by luring them onto a big red "X" and then dropping a piano on their heads.
Elizabeth Warren has called for a full federal ban on pregnancy centers, claiming they're killing helpless pregnant women by luring them onto a big red "X" and then dropping a piano on their heads.
 
This week, NASA unveiled photos of distant galaxy clusters now visible from the world's most powerful telescope.
This week, NASA unveiled photos of distant galaxy clusters now visible from the world's most powerful telescope.
 
Authorities were dispatched to the Nashville Zoo after Psychology professor and free-speech activist Jordan Peterson disregarded all signs saying "do not ride the ostriches" while shouting "up yours, woke moralists!" at the top of his lungs.
Authorities were dispatched to the Nashville Zoo after Psychology professor and free-speech activist Jordan Peterson disregarded all signs saying "do not ride the ostriches" while shouting "up yours, woke moralists!" at the top of his lungs.
 
Being a conservative working at Starbucks is more dangerous than being a Navy Seal behind enemy lines. If you want to play a fun game, try looking for the closeted conservative at your local Starbucks.
Being a conservative working at Starbucks is more dangerous than being a Navy Seal behind enemy lines. If you want to play a fun game, try looking for the closeted conservative at your local Starbucks.
 
Proctor & Gamble has released a brand new maximum-strength version of its popular Febreze air freshener product designed to combat the intense odor of bedrooms occupied by Jr. High-aged boys.
Proctor & Gamble has released a brand new maximum-strength version of its popular Febreze air freshener product designed to combat the intense odor of bedrooms occupied by Jr. High-aged boys.
 
Multiple Waffle House locations have been forced to close their doors permanently following an uptick in public safety and a drastic reduction in crime.
Multiple Waffle House locations have been forced to close their doors permanently following an uptick in public safety and a drastic reduction in crime.
 
In a touching address to the American people this week, Biden acknowledged that many minorities are struggling in this economy, and vowed to work hard to help them, whether they are "black, yellow, or taco."
In a touching address to the American people this week, Biden acknowledged that many minorities are struggling in this economy, and vowed to work hard to help them, whether they are "black, yellow, or taco."
 
Senator Elizabeth Warren is condemning the Underground Railroad for using devious and deceptive tactics to trick slaves into escaping their masters.
Senator Elizabeth Warren is condemning the Underground Railroad for using devious and deceptive tactics to trick slaves into escaping their masters.
 
In a bid to get WNBA star Brittney Griner out of a Russian prison and back home to the states where she belongs, Americans have eagerly stepped up to offer up LeBron James as a substitute.
In a bid to get WNBA star Brittney Griner out of a Russian prison and back home to the states where she belongs, Americans have eagerly stepped up to offer up LeBron James as a substitute.
 
Local Christian radio DJ Jessie Korah, host of "Morning Trumpet" on 97.7FM Coastlands Radio, experiences constant feelings of déjà vu that the songs he's broadcasting are the exact same ones he did just an hour before.
Local Christian radio DJ Jessie Korah, host of "Morning Trumpet" on 97.7FM Coastlands Radio, experiences constant feelings of déjà vu that the songs he's broadcasting are the exact same ones he did just an hour before.
 
According to sources, senior White House aides are still searching for a Biden they can send out in public following recent gaffes and federal crimes committed by Joe, Jill, and Hunter Biden.
According to sources, senior White House aides are still searching for a Biden they can send out in public following recent gaffes and federal crimes committed by Joe, Jill, and Hunter Biden.
 
NASA's James Webb space telescope team has unveiled the farthest and most massive image of deep space ever captured. In light of the success of the program, NASA has announced they will be developing an even larger space telescope to capture a photograph of your mom.
NASA's James Webb space telescope team has unveiled the farthest and most massive image of deep space ever captured. In light of the success of the program, NASA has announced they will be developing an even larger space telescope to capture a photograph of your mom.
 
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