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Results found for "baby jesus"


SANTA ANA, CA — A local professing Christian notified his friends, family members, and everyone who attended his church that, while he was not removing Jesus from his life, he was leaving religion behind.
Published: Sunday, February 18th, 2024 @ 7:40 am By: Babylon Bee
SANTA ANA, CA — A local professing Christian notified his friends, family members, and everyone who attended his church that, while he was not removing Jesus from his life, he was leaving religion behind.
 
Think Santa Claus is just some fictional character conjured up to take attention away from baby Jesus? WRONG!
Think Santa Claus is just some fictional character conjured up to take attention away from baby Jesus? WRONG!
 
A church in Italy took considerable backlash for its “dangerous” and “blasphemous” nativity scene featuring a figure of a second woman — in place of Joseph — alongside the figures of the Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus.
Published: Monday, January 1st, 2024 @ 6:57 pm By: Daily Wire
A church in Italy took considerable backlash for its “dangerous” and “blasphemous” nativity scene featuring a figure of a second woman — in place of Joseph — alongside the figures of the Virgin Mary and the baby Jesus.
 
A new peer-reviewed thesis has made a compelling argument that the Apostle Thomas only believed that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead after seeing Jesus's face miraculously appear on his slice of toast one morning.
A new peer-reviewed thesis has made a compelling argument that the Apostle Thomas only believed that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead after seeing Jesus's face miraculously appear on his slice of toast one morning.
 
Even at the Last Supper, Jesus' disciples were still not keen to know who was the traitor among them - yet looking back, the signs were all there. Here are nine obvious clues that should have alerted the disciples to who would betray the Lord:
Published: Sunday, October 29th, 2023 @ 3:56 pm By: Babylon Bee
Even at the Last Supper, Jesus' disciples were still not keen to know who was the traitor among them - yet looking back, the signs were all there. Here are nine obvious clues that should have alerted the disciples to who would betray the Lord:
 
A shocking new poll of registered Republican voters has revealed that an astonishing 71% believe former President Donald Trump is more trustworthy than Jesus Christ.
Published: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 @ 6:36 am By: Babylon Bee
A shocking new poll of registered Republican voters has revealed that an astonishing 71% believe former President Donald Trump is more trustworthy than Jesus Christ.
 
Unsuspecting evangelicals have long been led off-track in their pursuit of Jesus by none other than Jesus himself. Christianity Today is proud to have this opportunity to write a guest article here at The Babylon Bee and finally hold Jesus accountable for his shortcomings.
Published: Tuesday, October 17th, 2023 @ 6:53 pm By: Babylon Bee
Unsuspecting evangelicals have long been led off-track in their pursuit of Jesus by none other than Jesus himself. Christianity Today is proud to have this opportunity to write a guest article here at The Babylon Bee and finally hold Jesus accountable for his shortcomings.
 
It happened again! The Babylon Bee team got to sit down with Twitter's new boss to discuss Twitter, free speech, and Elon's relationship with Jesus (maybe).
Published: Wednesday, August 9th, 2023 @ 2:55 am By: Babylon Bee
It happened again! The Babylon Bee team got to sit down with Twitter's new boss to discuss Twitter, free speech, and Elon's relationship with Jesus (maybe).
 
Saddleback Church has doubled down on its support for adding female pastors to its staff, despite being kicked out of the Southern Baptist Convention, with founding pastor Rick Warren boasting that he has ordained even more female pastors than Jesus Christ Himself.
Published: Monday, July 17th, 2023 @ 1:35 pm By: Babylon Bee
Saddleback Church has doubled down on its support for adding female pastors to its staff, despite being kicked out of the Southern Baptist Convention, with founding pastor Rick Warren boasting that he has ordained even more female pastors than Jesus Christ Himself.
 
Yes, Jesus commanded us to "go into all the world and preach the Gospel," but sometimes it's really hard.
Published: Thursday, May 18th, 2023 @ 6:29 am By: Babylon Bee
Yes, Jesus commanded us to "go into all the world and preach the Gospel," but sometimes it's really hard.
 
Peppa Pig's family vacation took an unexpected turn for the worse after Jesus of Nazareth healed a nearby demoniac.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 12:14 am By: Babylon Bee
Peppa Pig's family vacation took an unexpected turn for the worse after Jesus of Nazareth healed a nearby demoniac.
 
Town officials are concerned after receiving multiple complaints from faculty at Galilee's School for the Blind this week after Jesus of Nazareth apparently went on a healing spree and decimated the school's enrollment.
Town officials are concerned after receiving multiple complaints from faculty at Galilee's School for the Blind this week after Jesus of Nazareth apparently went on a healing spree and decimated the school's enrollment.
 
A Bible class for kindergarteners was interrupted Sunday when Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez burst through the door and informed the five-year-olds in attendance that Jesus was a fascist. The children reportedly left the classroom in tears.
A Bible class for kindergarteners was interrupted Sunday when Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez burst through the door and informed the five-year-olds in attendance that Jesus was a fascist. The children reportedly left the classroom in tears.
 
A local pastor was left embarrassed last weekend after proclaiming "Jesus was all about inclusion!" in his sermon, as it was later revealed he had actually been confusing Jesus with Satan the entire time.
Published: Friday, January 27th, 2023 @ 2:23 pm By: Babylon Bee
A local pastor was left embarrassed last weekend after proclaiming "Jesus was all about inclusion!" in his sermon, as it was later revealed he had actually been confusing Jesus with Satan the entire time.
 
Ever since changing over to the Jesus Storybook Bible, local man Dan Smith has been totally dominating his Bible-In-A-Year plan.
Ever since changing over to the Jesus Storybook Bible, local man Dan Smith has been totally dominating his Bible-In-A-Year plan.
 
In a not-so-well-known miracle, Jesus the Son of God has done the impossible and healed a totally lame man by giving him a sick wardrobe makeover, curing him instantly.
Published: Sunday, January 15th, 2023 @ 12:38 pm By: Babylon Bee
In a not-so-well-known miracle, Jesus the Son of God has done the impossible and healed a totally lame man by giving him a sick wardrobe makeover, curing him instantly.
 
The Nativity scene, the symbol of Christmas, has become more of a commercial symbol than a religious system.That was the conclusion of the highest court of the land – back in 1984. It got me thinking of the holiday in general and what it really means. Have we succeeded in divorcing its true meaning?
The Nativity scene, the symbol of Christmas, has become more of a commercial symbol than a religious system.That was the conclusion of the highest court of the land – back in 1984. It got me thinking of the holiday in general and what it really means. Have we succeeded in divorcing its true meaning?
 
Local "Coco Loco" waiter Jesús Fernandez reportedly fed five thousand hungry people today with a single order of bottomless chips and salsa.
Local "Coco Loco" waiter Jesús Fernandez reportedly fed five thousand hungry people today with a single order of bottomless chips and salsa.
 
New evidence suggests that some of the people present at Jesus Christ's famous Sermon on the Mount had to sit in an overflow section on the eastern side of the mount where a large jumbotron screen had been set up.
New evidence suggests that some of the people present at Jesus Christ's famous Sermon on the Mount had to sit in an overflow section on the eastern side of the mount where a large jumbotron screen had been set up.
 
A local rabbi named Jesus has been accused of being a dangerous Christian Nationalist after saying that soon he will establish his kingdom over the whole earth.
A local rabbi named Jesus has been accused of being a dangerous Christian Nationalist after saying that soon he will establish his kingdom over the whole earth.
 
According to sources from the eternal realm, Jesus knows exactly what your church's so-called "Harvest Festival" really is.
Published: Sunday, November 6th, 2022 @ 2:44 am By: Babylon Bee
According to sources from the eternal realm, Jesus knows exactly what your church's so-called "Harvest Festival" really is.
 
Scholars working in the Holy Land learned an interesting tidbit today: the woman who anointed Jesus with oil - Mary of Bethany, a Bethany-dwelling woman whose name was Mary - actually performed the act of worship during an extended sales presentation for essential oils.
Published: Sunday, October 16th, 2022 @ 12:12 pm By: Babylon Bee
Scholars working in the Holy Land learned an interesting tidbit today: the woman who anointed Jesus with oil - Mary of Bethany, a Bethany-dwelling woman whose name was Mary - actually performed the act of worship during an extended sales presentation for essential oils.
 
Experts in attendance at Friday's International Conference on Metaphysics and Theology were wowed as a panel on Jesus' miracles concluded that the miracle of feeding 5,000 people with "five little loaves and two little fish" was made possible thanks to Olive Garden's breadsticks.
Experts in attendance at Friday's International Conference on Metaphysics and Theology were wowed as a panel on Jesus' miracles concluded that the miracle of feeding 5,000 people with "five little loaves and two little fish" was made possible thanks to Olive Garden's breadsticks.
 
After hearing wine was back on the menu, local bridesmaid Abigail approached Jesus and asked if He could turn the water into something a little fruity, but not too sweet.
Published: Sunday, August 21st, 2022 @ 12:06 am By: Babylon Bee
After hearing wine was back on the menu, local bridesmaid Abigail approached Jesus and asked if He could turn the water into something a little fruity, but not too sweet.
 
Biblical scholar Dr. Edward Gaddville has put forward an exciting new theory that Jesus slept through a storm while on a fishing boat with His disciples because He was using a MyPillow
Published: Monday, June 27th, 2022 @ 5:40 pm By: Babylon Bee
Biblical scholar Dr. Edward Gaddville has put forward an exciting new theory that Jesus slept through a storm while on a fishing boat with His disciples because He was using a MyPillow
 
This week, longtime evangelist Nate Groze found himself grappling with his Christian beliefs during an online debate.
Published: Monday, June 27th, 2022 @ 1:29 pm By: Babylon Bee
This week, longtime evangelist Nate Groze found himself grappling with his Christian beliefs during an online debate.
 
Harry Splugwarp, a deacon at Straight & Narrow Church, began searching the scriptures fervently for Jesus' teaching about funding Lockheed Martin following House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's comments that funding a war in a foreign land was tantamount to feeding someone who was hungry.
Published: Monday, May 23rd, 2022 @ 7:34 pm By: Babylon Bee
Harry Splugwarp, a deacon at Straight & Narrow Church, began searching the scriptures fervently for Jesus' teaching about funding Lockheed Martin following House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's comments that funding a war in a foreign land was tantamount to feeding someone who was hungry.
 
During a recent devotional time, Jesus found himself flummoxed when reading his words in the popular Bible “translation” which renders the text “thought-for-thought” rather than “word-for-word”—“The Message.”
Published: Friday, May 13th, 2022 @ 1:07 pm By: Babylon Bee
During a recent devotional time, Jesus found himself flummoxed when reading his words in the popular Bible “translation” which renders the text “thought-for-thought” rather than “word-for-word”—“The Message.”
 
Baby boy Colby Allen Smith, age 3 weeks, a resident of Washington went to sleep and woke up in the arms of Jesus on Sunday August 29, 2021 at his home.
Baby boy Colby Allen Smith, age 3 weeks, a resident of Washington went to sleep and woke up in the arms of Jesus on Sunday August 29, 2021 at his home.
 

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