Local Man Crushing Bible-In-A-Year Plan After Switching To Jesus Storybook Bible | Eastern North Carolina Now

Ever since changing over to the Jesus Storybook Bible, local man Dan Smith has been totally dominating his Bible-In-A-Year plan.

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    AKRON, OH     Ever since changing over to the Jesus Storybook Bible, local man Dan Smith has been totally dominating his Bible-In-A-Year plan.

    "Three chapters of Genesis? No problem!" exclaimed Mr. Smith. "Watch me knock this out in thirty seconds. This new Bible is incredible!"

    After never making the two-week mark in previous attempts to read the Bible in a year, Mr. Smith has thus far remained right on schedule. "My five-year-old niece was kind enough to loan me her copy to get started, and it's been a total game-changer," said Mr. Smith. "Honestly, I've never understood the stories so well in my entire life. Plus, the pictures are so good! They really keep me going."

    Mr. Smith has proudly posted his reading schedule on the refrigerator, and crossed each day off once he's finished. "I am really proud of him sticking to this," said Mrs. Smith. "Some days, the readings are an entire page! I've had aspirations to do one of those plans, but honestly I'm not sure I'm ready to take on the Jesus Storybook Bible in just one year. I'll probably start with Baby's Hug-A-Bible and see how that goes."

    At publishing time, Mr. Smith had gotten so engrossed in one of the Old Testament stories that he accidentally read three weeks ahead of schedule.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

Biden Calls For Two Weeks Of Not Cooking On Gas Stoves To Flatten The Curve Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Apostle Paul Fired As DJ For 'Positive, Encouraging K-LOVE'


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
Displacing Constitutional Law
As the first presidential debate between President Joe Biden and Donald Trump nears, the Biden campaign is ratcheting up its attacks on the presumptive Republican nominee’s 34 felony convictions.
If you want to show how NOT to build a school there is no better example than this new Eastern Elementary School being planned in secret.


Average increase in costs at the grocery store
Standards for DACA, championed by President Joe Biden, were set so low
A rule that compels speech and engages in such viewpoint discrimination is impermissible
Tucker Carlson, Fox News Channel’s biggest prime time star, has left the cable news giant.


Florida Governor Ron DeSantis made his first trip overseas since 2019 this week, meeting with Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida in Tokyo on Monday to discuss economic matters as the 44-year-old gears up for a likely presidential campaign.
Judge has ruled that her case can proceed on charges of civil conspiracy and fraud
now Democrat candidate in Texas and faked hate creime against GOP opponent
President Joe Biden delivered remarks on Tuesday at gun control advocacy group Everytown’s annual conference, Gun Sense University — and as is often the case when Biden speaks about guns, critics were quick to point out a series of factual errors.
12% spike in heart-related deaths from eating plant-based fake meat


Back to Top