7 Things You Probably Didn't Know About The REAL Saint Nick | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Think Santa Claus is just some fictional character conjured up to take attention away from baby Jesus? WRONG! There was an actual Saint Nick who was present at the Council of Nicea in A.D. 325 and, according to legend, slapped the taste out of the mouth of some guy who was promoting heretical teaching. Awesome!

    Want to know more? Here are 7 other things you probably didn't know about the real Saint Nick:

1. He suffered from terrible rosacea: Those poor rosy, red cheeks and nose like a cherry!
2. He trained as an MMA fighter before becoming fat and jolly: This training proved to come in handy when encountering heretics.
3. Ironically, he confessed on his deathbed that his favorite holiday was Arbor Day: Now you finally know why we put trees in our homes at Christmas!
4. Employed a staff of merry midgets: Santa's original "little helpers" and the origin of the elf legends.
5. He invented the candy cane for the purpose of caning heretics: Consequences were tougher back then for winding up on the "naughty list".
6. Saint Nick's battle at the Council of Nicea was about whether Die Hard was a Christmas movie: Welcome to the party, Arius.
7. He actually died years ago and was replaced by Tim Allen: The original Saint Nick fell off a roof, poor guy! There's a whole documentary about it called The Santa Clause.

    Who knew, right? There's a lot more to jolly old Saint Nick than meets the eye!