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IOWA CITY, IA — On the other end of the spectrum from "DINK" (Dual Income No Kids) families, local Mormon parents Logan and Stacy Jensen have proudly claimed the rare title of "OINKs", meaning a family with one income and nine kids.
Published: Friday, February 16th, 2024 @ 10:17 am
By: Babylon Bee
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POTLATCH, ID — A local man told his sad story to a support group this week, explaining his parents had named him "Scam Likely" and condemned him to a lifetime of never having anyone answer his phone calls.
Published: Friday, October 20th, 2023 @ 1:33 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local parents of three Tom and Sarah Briggs got away this weekend for a steamy, romantic interlude consisting of hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Published: Wednesday, October 18th, 2023 @ 5:50 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local grandfather railed against his offspring and younger generations in general this week, demanding to know why so many young people are still living with their parents well into adulthood
Published: Tuesday, October 17th, 2023 @ 2:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local parents of a young girl have grown concerned that she may be rife with internalized misogyny as she was seen pretending her Successful Lawyer Barbie™ was just a mommy.
Published: Wednesday, September 27th, 2023 @ 9:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After enduring dozens of lackluster performances at last night's annual piano recital, local parents reportedly sat up with eager anticipation as the show's only Asian kid took the stage.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 11:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Authorities have been dispatched to a local residence after disturbing reports that a set of parents — who are clearly deranged psychopaths — lit a chocolate cake on fire and then gave it to an innocent child.
Published: Wednesday, June 7th, 2023 @ 2:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local parents Dave and Stacey Martin, who raised their daughter on Disney movies that glamorized rebelling against parents, are flabbergasted to see their teenage daughter now rebelling against her parents.
Published: Saturday, June 3rd, 2023 @ 7:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local parents Tim and Julia Yoder were understandably upset when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie came home drunk last weekend. However, their anger quickly turned to relief upon learning that Carlie had not, in fact, been consuming Bud Light.
Published: Saturday, May 6th, 2023 @ 8:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local toddler Oliver McMahon has set a new world record in the 100-meter dash after parents asked what he had put in his mouth.
Published: Saturday, April 15th, 2023 @ 7:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local teacher was forced to schedule a conference with a student's parents to express growing concern that their young son Johnny is not transitioning up to his full potential.
Published: Sunday, April 2nd, 2023 @ 2:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After months of arguing that he was ready for the responsibility of a mobile device, local homeschooler Kevin Hillstead at last wore his parents down.
Published: Saturday, November 26th, 2022 @ 7:53 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, a local pediatrician has just wrapped up his round of daily calls with concerned parents in which he assures them their child's cold will only last another 3 to 4 years.
Published: Monday, November 21st, 2022 @ 8:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, local parents Josh and Madelyn Bledge are sitting on their back porch relishing the crisp fall air and looking on lovingly as their kids frolic in a pile of autumn leaves and dog poop.
Published: Sunday, November 6th, 2022 @ 11:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With the arrival of Halloween, local parents are engaged in their annual tradition of buying giant bags of candy to give away to trick-or-treaters on their doorstep while simultaneously sending their own costumed children out to go door-to-door to collect giant bags of candy.
Published: Sunday, November 6th, 2022 @ 9:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local parents Kevin and Cyndi Thompson continue to idiotically resist the overpowering, siren call of the minivan.
Published: Friday, August 26th, 2022 @ 9:27 am
By: Babylon Bee
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PORTLAND, OR — Local parents Cindy and Bob Conners have devised a clever plan to protect their son from gender indoctrination at school.
Published: Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022 @ 12:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local toddler Lance Wigglestein has completely lost faith in the existence of all-powerful, all-loving parents after they callously took away the really fun knife he was playing with.
Published: Monday, May 30th, 2022 @ 12:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man Paul Brexton grew up on Disney movies, enjoying and identifying with the edginess, wit, and rebellious teenage attitude of characters like Ariel, Aladdin, and Mulan.
Published: Sunday, April 17th, 2022 @ 6:43 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Virginia gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe was asked by a local journalist to define Critical Race Theory in light of concerns raised by parents in Virginia school districts. He failed, instead suggesting that parents who oppose teaching elements of CRT as part of K-12 curriculum are racist.
Published: Wednesday, December 8th, 2021 @ 10:12 am
By: Daily Wire
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Mask wars have once again erupted in Buncombe County after the school board voted during a specially called meeting last week, without public comment, to require all students and staff to wear masks while inside, regardless of vaccination status.
Published: Tuesday, September 14th, 2021 @ 11:03 am
By: Carolina Journal
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