Now That He Has Children, Local Man Starting To Side With The Lame, Mean Parents In All Disney Movies | Beaufort County Now | Local man Paul Brexton grew up on Disney movies, enjoying and identifying with the edginess, wit, and rebellious teenage attitude of characters like Ariel, Aladdin, and Mulan.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HAMPTON FALLS, IA     Local man Paul Brexton grew up on Disney movies, enjoying and identifying with the edginess, wit, and rebellious teenage attitude of characters like Ariel, Aladdin, and Mulan. But now that he's older and has children of his own, Brexton has admitted that he's really starting to side with the lame, mean, stuffy parents in all Disney movies and TV shows instead.

    No matter if it's Mulan's father telling her to know her role and do her traditional duty as a member of the household or Simba's dad instructing him not to play in the shadowy place, Brexton has noticed the parents in the Disney films, even when they're supposed to be caricatured as mean and overbearing, are actually the good guys.

    Brexton gathered the family for a re-watch of The Little Mermaid and commented on how much he now appreciated King Triton's perspective. "Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady. As long as you live under my ocean, you'll obey my rules!" Triton said as Brexton nodded along in agreement.

    "You know what? King Triton makes a great point here," he said as the king flew into a rage and tore into Ariel for once again sneaking up to the surface where she could be killed. "It's really quite sensible. He just wants what's best for her. He just wants her to be safe. I kinda love this guy. I'm now a big King Triton stan."

    During a recent rewatch of Aladdin, Brexton reacted similarly to the Sultan telling Jasmine, "I'm not going to be around forever, and I just want to make sure you're taken care of, provided for," as he urged her to get married for her future safety and security.

    "This guy is based, to be honest," he muttered. "Really wants the best for his daughter." As the family's Disney movie marathon continued, Brexton found himself agreeing with Fa Zhou, Chief Powhatan, Maurice, and countless other parents who just wanted the best for their kids.

    "Man, it's almost like Disney has really bad ideas about what good parenting is and is becoming this unstoppable machine that will continue to brainwash our kids to be little rebels," he thought to himself before pressing the button to renew his Disney+ subscription for another three years.
Go Back


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Democrat President Joe Biden was mocked over the weekend for bragging about flying 70,000 pounds of baby formula from Europe to the U.S. as his administration has faced criticism for the shortage of baby formula across the country.
The US dollar is losing value as a result of burgeoning Biden-flation. Before we all end up homeless, let's take some time to reflect on some things that are more valuable than the money in your bank account. Maybe you can barter for some of these killer items before it's too late!
San Francisco Democrat Mayor London Breed appears to have reversed course on her support for defunding the police, a far-left movement that is well outside the mainstream, and is now calling those same progressive policies “the bulls*** that has destroyed our city.”
On Tuesday night, Val Applewhite won the Democrat primary for North Carolina’s 19th state Senate District with 56.3% of the vote. Incumbent state Sen. Kirk deViere came in second with 36.8% of the vote.
Now that the body of a man shot in the head has been discovered in the receding waters of drought-ravaged Lake Mead in Nevada, two Mafia experts speculate he could be one of three men connected to the Mafia who mysteriously disappeared.
At a donor event this week, President Biden tried his hand at focus group-tested insults, calling Trump the "Great MAGA King" to mixed reviews.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki faced intense questions on Tuesday over a variety of issues facing the administration as it battles low approval ratings from the American public.
Now that President Biden has attempted to palliate the American public during the gas price crisis by raiding the critical Strategic Petroleum Reserve (SPR), it has reached the lowest level in 35 years.


Authorities discovered an incapacitated father Thursday night while following up on reports of a possible domestic disturbance.
On Tuesday, President Joe Biden downplayed concerns that many Americans have about his vaccine mandates going too far and encroaching on their individual freedoms.
Christian Castelli has won the Republican primary for North Carolina’s 6th U.S. Congressional District with 36% of the vote.
Ted Budd Increases Lead Over Biden/Beasley in Latest Independent Poll
A new report reveals that the Democrat Party’s internal polling shows them getting blown out in November’s congressional elections.
The husband of one of Democrat President Joe Biden’s cabinet secretaries is a top executive in an artificial intelligence company that is backed by China’s communist government.
After the spectacular crash in the cryptocurrency market this week, Matt Damon and his publicists worked overtime to produce a new commercial to apologize for convincing amateurs to invest in cryptocurrency.
In what is being called an “equal pay” agreement between the U.S. Soccer Federation and the U.S. men’s and women’s national teams, the men’s team will soon begin subsidizing the women’s team’s bonuses with their own international prize money.


Look out, Florida! Gov Ron DeSantis just signed some super-based executive orders to own the libs! Awwwww yeeeaaaaaah!
The CEOs of two of America’s largest airlines said this week that they do not believe that the Biden administration’s continued mask mandate requiring travelers to wear masks while flying serves much benefit considering the fact that airplanes have advanced filtration systems.
Former Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) spent nearly 20 years in Congress before leaving to become the CEO of former President Donald Trump’s media company, Trump Media and Technology Group, which launched the Truth Social platform earlier this year.
As White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki departs today for a job at MSNBC, several members of the White House Press Corps expressed concern that she may not be intending to circle back to their questions after all.
A few things against the digital learning initiative and the use of technology in the classroom.


Back to Top