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According to sources, local conservative/libertarian-ish man Kyle McManus on Monday pondered how Disney has so much money, power, and cultural influence to push its leftist agenda.
Published: Thursday, April 14th, 2022 @ 1:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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President Barack Obama has returned to the White House after growing tired of working remotely. The President said it was time to work in the Oval Office once again, after over a year of being the president from his Martha's Vineyard estate.
Published: Wednesday, April 13th, 2022 @ 2:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With Elon Musk becoming Twitter's largest stakeholder and a new member of the board of directors, many within the company are worried he may turn their free speech platform into a platform that actually allows free speech.
Published: Tuesday, April 12th, 2022 @ 7:53 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Did you know that your morning beverage of choice can predict your political leanings with 100% accuracy? Don't look it up—just trust us, it's a totally real thing.
Published: Monday, April 11th, 2022 @ 11:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Elon Musk recently found some spare change in his jeans pocket and decided to buy 9.2% of Twitter. Like a loving father, Musk is helping Twitter get back on the right path. Way to go, Elon!
Published: Sunday, April 10th, 2022 @ 8:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A lackadaisical Adam really phoned it in with his latest animal name, deciding to just call the flying bug he was presented with 'fly'.
Published: Sunday, April 10th, 2022 @ 6:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The CDC has recently updated its recommended self-isolation protocol for those who test positive for COVID-19. Now, the CDC recommends either staying home or going to see Marvel's Morbius in theaters to stay as far away from others as possible.
Published: Sunday, April 10th, 2022 @ 6:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a devious 4D chess move, Vladimir Putin has ordered all his armored divisions to fly Planned Parenthood flags so no one will criticize them for committing unthinkable genocide against innocent people.
Published: Saturday, April 9th, 2022 @ 6:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
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God has promised to flood the Earth due to mankind's wickedness and has tasked Noah with building an ark and taking with him a pair of each kind of animal to preserve their offspring.
Published: Friday, April 8th, 2022 @ 12:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Devoted parents Luke and Mary Winthrop have voiced their support for the parental rights bill that was signed into law by Gov. Ron DeSantis last week.
Published: Friday, April 8th, 2022 @ 8:33 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The most important mission of children's entertainment is to instruct young minds in gender confusion and the most depraved sexual practices imaginable.
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 4:00 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Liberals at Twitter were outraged this morning upon finding out almost 10% of their company is now owned by an African-American. Several have threatened walk-outs to protest the news.
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 3:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local mother of 4 who stays home with her kids as a full-time homemaker is coming under criticism for perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards for women everywhere.
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 1:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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We, The Babylon Bee, have decided to issue an apology.
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 11:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Jen Psaki has recently announced she will be resigning from her position as White House Press Secretary, immediately sparking discussion of who will replace her.
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 9:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A rat colony underneath Washington, D.C. recently became aware of a surface world with blue skies, warm sunlight, and abundant garbage.
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 9:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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We got a ton of letters from those of you who took our "Are you a woman?" test saying things like "I don't think I'm a woman. Is there another thing I could be?" The answer is yes!
Published: Thursday, April 7th, 2022 @ 12:27 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Enthralled onlookers at Lakewood Church in Houston watched this Sunday as a surprise guest marched onstage: John MacArthur.
Published: Wednesday, April 6th, 2022 @ 10:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local dad Fred Mullers has contracted the stomach flu, which, similar to the common cold, is a death sentence for husbands and dads. Knowing he is on death's door, Mullers has written his last will and testament on the bathroom floor.
Published: Monday, April 4th, 2022 @ 2:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Apple, Inc. is coming out forcefully against Florida's parental rights bill, known to trans activists as the "Don't Say Gay" bill.
Published: Monday, April 4th, 2022 @ 2:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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U.S. representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made headlines recently after giving emotional testimony about the time she was slapped by movie star Will Smith, which killed her, and now she is dead.
Published: Monday, April 4th, 2022 @ 1:23 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After years of waiting, the world finally has the opportunity to subscribe to CNN's new streaming service, CNN+.
Published: Monday, April 4th, 2022 @ 10:53 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Beloved Disney character Donald Duck was spotted in public without any pants and, according to sources, completely unashamed.
Published: Monday, April 4th, 2022 @ 8:24 am
By: Babylon Bee
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NBC is bringing a brand new show starring Dave Ramsey to its 2022 fall lineup. The show will be called To Catch a Borrower
Published: Sunday, April 3rd, 2022 @ 3:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a tragic development, the White House attempting to walk back the statement that no one is walking back statements has ripped open a hole in the space-time continuum, annihilating the White House Press Briefing room.
Published: Sunday, April 3rd, 2022 @ 8:21 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Looking more presidential every day, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis recently signed into law a brilliant piece of legislation called the “Don’t Say ‘My Momma So Fat’” Bill
Published: Sunday, April 3rd, 2022 @ 8:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Babylon Bee is striking back against woke razor companies with a subscription service of their own.
Published: Saturday, April 2nd, 2022 @ 8:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The popular topical pain-relieving cream Bengay is undergoing a name change in order to stay compliant with Florida law.
Published: Friday, April 1st, 2022 @ 8:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Daily Wire has struck back at another woke industry
Published: Friday, April 1st, 2022 @ 12:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Alejandro and Shelley Robles were excited to host a gender reveal party for friends and family but the entire event was completely invalidated after it was discovered neither expectant parent is a biologist.
Published: Friday, April 1st, 2022 @ 9:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In breaking news today, the Clintons confirmed that Hillary Clinton has tested positive for COVID-19, while Bill Clinton has tested positive for COVID-19
Published: Thursday, March 31st, 2022 @ 6:15 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man Jack Orchard called his son over the weekend and left a voicemail on his phone when he didn't answer.
Published: Thursday, March 31st, 2022 @ 11:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Disney+ has announced some new parental features coming to the popular streaming platform.
Published: Thursday, March 31st, 2022 @ 1:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After an eventful Oscars ceremony in which Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock over a quip about his wife's hair, comedienne Amy Schumer became horrified by the realization you can now get slapped in the face for telling a bad joke.
Published: Wednesday, March 30th, 2022 @ 2:59 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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