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To assist the Ukrainian people, the president has directed the FBI to begin monitoring social media accounts and taking note of anyone who hasn't updated their profile picture to the Ukrainian flag.
Published: Tuesday, March 29th, 2022 @ 9:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources familiar with her family, Ketanji Brown Jackson threw the game Guess Who across the living room in confused frustration after losing for the 140th consecutive time.
Published: Tuesday, March 29th, 2022 @ 8:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local father and dance chaperone Dennis Bush has reminded his children that, when dancing, they must remember to leave room for Reagan.
Published: Monday, March 28th, 2022 @ 6:53 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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According to reports, your wife gasped, causing you to almost get in a fatal accident because the video she was watching on her phone showed an adorable baby goat tumble off a log.
Published: Monday, March 28th, 2022 @ 5:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Multiple five-year old witnesses confirm that their teacher, Miss Whifflestrom, dropped the class gerbil in awe after hearing brilliant young kindergartener Timothy correctly describe boys as having a penis and girls, a vagina. Within hours, young Timothy had been granted a PhD in Biology.
Published: Monday, March 28th, 2022 @ 11:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Senate is continuing their questioning of Supreme Court Nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson this week to make sure she meets the qualifications of the highest court in the land.
Published: Monday, March 28th, 2022 @ 11:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Ketanji Brown Jackson experienced a delayed start this morning after Ms. Jackson had trouble locating the women's room.
Published: Sunday, March 27th, 2022 @ 9:21 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Writers for The Babylon Bee, currently inmates in Twitter Jail, are attempting to slowly tunnel their way out of their cells, according to an exposé by Dateline NBC. The dangerous inmates have allegedly concealed their escape tunnel behind a poster of their longtime crush Gina Carano.
Published: Sunday, March 27th, 2022 @ 8:24 am
By: Babylon Bee
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What is a woman? Nobody knows—not even Supreme Court nominees. But we've come up with a few key indicators to look for.
Published: Friday, March 25th, 2022 @ 10:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In our latest video, a clever husband takes a cue from Joe Biden and just blames all his marital failures on Vladimir Putin.
Published: Friday, March 25th, 2022 @ 3:31 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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