Publisher's note: This post appears here courtesy of the LifeZette, and written by David Kamioner.
As a conservative columnist there are some stories, some days, when the job is fun. This is one of those days.
The hilarity in Portland Wednesday night was watching a hard left cowardly Democrat mayor, Ted Wheeler, try to placate rioters who he had created with his own rhetoric against the country and against the president. But "Tear Gas Ted" didn't realize that the assembled young idiots with daddy issues had already gone long past his version of ideological conformity and had turned their ire against all figures of authority, including Ted. Watching Ted try to bond with them and get shafted for his efforts is the comedy delight of this riot season. The stage was set as such.
As the riot, Portland's 55th day under siege, got started Ted tried again to blame the president, "This is not a de-escalation strategy. This is flat-out urban warfare and it's being brought on this country by the president and it's got to stop now...I think what we're doing tonight is actually the best thing we can do right now. Be here, be heard, be unified, and be clear. We didn't want them, we didn't ask for them, they're not trained for what they're being asked to do. And we want them to leave."
But Ted's shuck and jive only got the crowd angrier and they took it out on...Ted. As the situation became untenable and progressed close to federal property, the feds let Ted and his former pals have it good with a serious dose of tear gas. I mean, they really let them have it.
As he pathetically tried to regain some composure in front of the crowd and the national media, Ted was shouted down by jeers, catcalls, noisemakers, firecrackers, boos, and any other cacophony-inducing equipment the rioters could lay their hands on. His own animals had turned on him and there was squat he could do about it except perhaps, in his more lucid moments, contemplate the gales of sardonic laughter filling the Oval Office.
Among the greatest hits were: "F- Wheeler," and calling him "Tear gas Teddy," which is amusing onto itself because the feds, not Wheeler, used the tear gas. But the toddlers blamed Ted anyway. Sometimes a craven Bolshevik just can't catch a break.
"He doesn't get to speak, he's a f-ing fascist. F- Ted Wheeler,"
was another crowd favorite, along with "f-ing a-hole" and "Tear gas Ted has got to go." Then Ted heard "f- you" and the kiddies told him to "get the f- out" and warned "Your house next." Giving the rioters a little credit for appropriate sarcasm, they then hit him with, "See you tomorrow night, huh?"
Then when Ted thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Finally, the rioters released their list of inane demands. Right up there in the top 5 is, you guessed it, Ted's resignation.
At the end of the riot, one of the speakers told the crowd, "This is no longer a protest. We are in the middle of a civil war."
If only...if only. Because if it was, when federal troops arrived to put down the rebellion (perhaps a summer jaunt from my old unit, the First Infantry) the children would scurry for cover and return to their mom's basement, as order was brought to a situation completely out of control because of the unforseen results of leftist rhetoric. You see Ted, there are times when words have consequences. Your red puffy eyes this morning attest to the fact.