Stacey Abrams Claims Obesity Is Just Numbers Manufactured By Her Bathroom Scale | Eastern North Carolina Now

While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

This post revisited, created by the Babylon Bee, was first posted on November 29, 2022, and, NOW, is moved forward to this present day due to it appearing relatively recently; where it, most importantly, enjoys a high volume of unique views ... respectfully concluding that this post is either funny, entertaining or informative ... or conditionally all three ... enjoy if that is a refinement within your nature to do so.

    ATLANTA, GA.     While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.

    "In the same way the patriarchy invented sonograms with fake heartbeat sounds to force women to fall in love with their unborn children against their will, bathroom scales were also created by the patriarchy to control women's bodies," said Abrams. "Obesity isn't real, but a system of oppression. It's time to dismantle it!"

    The incumbent governor's remarks are already being praised as "so brave" and "super scientific" by members of the body positivity movement who have not yet succumbed to diabetes and heart disease.

    "As Presidential candidate for the Democratic party, I vow to fight the lobbyists of Big Bathroom Scales and their attempts to control our beautiful bodies," said Abrams while inhaling a tower of strawberry-sprinkled bear claws.

    A representative for the Bathroom Scale industry issued a statement that read, "We're so busted, dang it. President-elect Stacey Abrams caught us red-handed. We solemnly vow henceforth to do better to hide our secretive desires to control women's bodies."

    At publishing time, U.S. President Stacey Abrams had declared every day National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day.

poll#154
Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?
  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.
  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.
  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.
1,216 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back

HbAD0

Latest The Arts

The musician is considered one of the most influential songwriters of the 20th century.

HbAD1

Ridley Scott employed the perfect balance of narrative, cinematic imagery and adventure to build the timeless tale of a once great empire beginning its fall into the moral decay that was Rome.
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
As everyone now knows, the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling to grant presidents immunity for "official acts" has given Donald Trump unlimited power to do literally anything he wants with zero consequences whatsoever.
Veterans Day is a festive celebration by those who returned, married, had kids, worked and retired. We are the one who have reunions and share photos and stories.
“Malcolm in the Middle” actor Frankie Muniz said that even though he had a good experience as a child star, he still doesn’t want his son to enter the profession.
Famed Allman Brothers Band guitarist Dickey Betts, responsible for writing the group’s biggest hit, “Ramblin’ Man,” died Thursday at his home in Osprey, Florida. He was 80.
Daily Wire host Matt Walsh passed away Monday aboard Southwest Airlines Flight WN2208 after the passenger in front of him reclined her seat and crushed him to death, officials announced.

HbAD2

 
Back to Top