Stacey Abrams Claims Obesity Is Just Numbers Manufactured By Her Bathroom Scale | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

This post revisited, created by the Babylon Bee, was first posted on November 29, 2022, and, NOW, is moved forward to this present day due to it appearing relatively recently; where it, most importantly, enjoys a high volume of unique views ... respectfully concluding that this post is either funny, entertaining or informative ... or conditionally all three ... enjoy if that is a refinement within your nature to do so.

    ATLANTA, GA.     While speaking at a public symposium on behalf of The Association of Donut Lovers, Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams claimed obesity was just numbers manufactured by her bathroom scale.

    "In the same way the patriarchy invented sonograms with fake heartbeat sounds to force women to fall in love with their unborn children against their will, bathroom scales were also created by the patriarchy to control women's bodies," said Abrams. "Obesity isn't real, but a system of oppression. It's time to dismantle it!"

    The incumbent governor's remarks are already being praised as "so brave" and "super scientific" by members of the body positivity movement who have not yet succumbed to diabetes and heart disease.

    "As Presidential candidate for the Democratic party, I vow to fight the lobbyists of Big Bathroom Scales and their attempts to control our beautiful bodies," said Abrams while inhaling a tower of strawberry-sprinkled bear claws.

    A representative for the Bathroom Scale industry issued a statement that read, "We're so busted, dang it. President-elect Stacey Abrams caught us red-handed. We solemnly vow henceforth to do better to hide our secretive desires to control women's bodies."

    At publishing time, U.S. President Stacey Abrams had declared every day National Deep-Fried Twinkie Day.

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Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?
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