Man Caught In Endless Loop Of Going Upstairs, Forgetting Why He Went Upstairs, Going Back Down | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    DALLAS, TX     According to sources, local man Jeremy Thomas has spent three weeks stuck in a perpetual loop, going upstairs, forgetting why he went upstairs, and then going back downstairs. The loop began on a Sunday night after a Cowboys game and has continued since.

    "Shoot. What did I come up here for again?" said the confused 36-year-old man before heading back down the stairs.

    "Yeah, this phenomenon is pretty common starting at this age," said Thomas' doctor to his frustrated wife. "Usually if you just snap your fingers in his face or distract him with some nachos it will break the loop."

    "This might be the longest loop I've seen yet," the doctor continued. "The longest loop of this kind I've seen previously was only three days. The man was also a dad. It's always dads."

    At publishing time. Mr. Thomas had entered another endless loop of walking to his car and realizing he had forgotten his keys.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Trump Brags He's First President Ever To Lose The Senate Even After Being President Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics In Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day Address, Kamala Harris Urges Nation Not To Forget January 6


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is advocating for the quick removal of Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas as the illegal immigration crisis on the southern border shows no signs of slowing down.
The 2023 National Prayer Breakfast came to an abrupt and premature end today due to severe lightning that kept striking the building where the politicians were gathered.
If any three men have been most outspoken in their desire for peace between Ukraine and Russia, it has been former President Donald J. Trump, the Vicar of Christ Pope Francis, and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.
This week, U.S. Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) and his colleagues introduced a bill establishing a bipartisan, bicameral Joint Select Committee on Afghanistan to conduct a full investigation into President Biden’s failed and tragic withdrawal of U.S. forces from Afghanistan.
"This is not about woke-ism or mandates on job creators, it’s an effort to ensure fair and equal access to our financial system no matter your race, party affiliation, or political beliefs," Rep. Patrick McHenry, R-NC, in a statement to Carolina Journal.
House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer (R-KY) said during an interview Monday that President Joe Biden was under investigation for allegedly “influence peddling with our adversaries.”
Congressman Chuck Edwards (NC-11) issued the following statement today regarding China's suspected spy balloon traveling across the United States.
Robert Gates, former President Barack Obama’s Secretary of Defense, slammed politicians’ handling of classified information during an interview over the weekend where he also took a shot at President Joe Biden’s handling of the war in Ukraine.

HbAD1

compilation of 78 randomized control trials show masks are useless
Locals and Groundhog Day enthusiasts alike were caught off-guard today, as the eponymous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, emerged from his burrow and declared to the crowd gathered at Gobbler's Knob that there was a cache of documents marked "Classified" in his underground home.
A Catholic pro-life activist facing 11 years in prison for allegedly violating a federal law prohibiting people from blocking others from entering an abortion clinic was acquitted on Monday following a week-long trial.
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was slammed after video showed her dancing in the street in Chicago’s Lunar New Year parade Sunday.
Several users of the remarkable software ChatGPT are reporting an apparent glitch that occurs whenever someone asks the AI to say something nice about Donald Trump.
A Senate Democrat is joining Republican colleagues in calling for an investigation into the suspected Chinese spy balloon currently hovering over the United States.
County boards of elections in North Carolina regularly remove voter registrations of people whom they confirm have died or moved out of the county
Federal prosecutors requested that former FTX CEO Sam Bankman-Fried become subject to more restrictions during his pretrial release after he allegedly tried to tamper with a witness through the encrypted messaging platform Signal.

HbAD2

The N.C. Court of Appeals will decide in Zander v. Orange County whether the county must refund millions of dollars in school impact fees collected since 2009.
Secretary of State Antony Blinken reportedly told China’s Foreign Minister Wang Yi in a call on Friday that “the presence” of a suspected Chinese spy balloon in “U.S. airspace is a clear violation of U.S. sovereignty and international law.”
Local progressive and Anitfa member Declan Johnson has started to question his commitment to the communist revolution over concerns about a potential lack of gluten-free bread lines.
Young workers in Western nations are leaving their jobs at increasing levels over a desire to work for companies they believe are committed to fighting climate change.
Headlines detailing pro-union pushes at Amazon, Starbucks, and other big companies, coupled with President Biden’s vow to be the “most pro-union President leading the most pro-union administration in American history,” may lead us to think union membership is seeing a resurgence.
A suicide bomber targeted police at a crowded mosque in Peshawar, Pakistan, Monday, killing at least 47 people and injuring more than 150 others.
According to several sources, CNN has reached out to President Joe Biden for a consultation on how to make up stories and still escape being branded as deceptive.
Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), who was recently booted off the House Intelligence Committee, faced scrutiny during an interview on Sunday over past examples of him allegedly politicizing intelligence information for partisan gain.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top