Tonight’s State Of The Union To Be Sponsored By Pfizer | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, DC     In a move designed to both bring in some extra revenue for the federal government as well as send a message of encouragement to the public to get vaccinated, tonight's State of the Union address from President Joe Biden will be sponsored by Pfizer.

    "We've really been a driving force behind most decisions made by the country's leadership anyway," said Pfizer spokesperson Phil Brooks. "The next logical step is to just start publicly sponsoring this type of official policy speech."

    Fresh off its sponsorship of the much-talked-about musical performance/Satanic worship service by Sam Smith at the Grammy Awards, the pharmaceutical giant is looking to expand its public presence into the political sphere. "Most members of Congress are on our payroll already," Brooks continued. "Sam Smith's performance at the Grammys, combined with a speech from President Biden, really captures the essence of what Pfizer is all about. They go hand-in-hand."

    Other potential sponsors were reportedly discussed behind closed doors by the Biden administration, including Balenciaga, the Chinese Communist Party, and Satan himself. "We thought about other options, but Pfizer seemed like a good start," said a White House source under the condition of anonymity. "After all, we can't really be too open and honest about who controls our messaging."

    At publishing time, additional ideas being bounced around included having the President do paid ad reads for Pfizer during the speech, adding a musical interlude by Sam Smith, or even inviting Pfizer mascot Clotty to be one of the President's guests.

poll#174

Among the many other lackluster performance standards by the Biden Administration - the most recent, allowing the Chinese Spy Balloon unfettered access to the skies above this Sovereign Republic - Joe Biden's foreign policy is considered by most true experts to be mediocre to abysmal at best. If one were to give a fair assessment of the quality of this apex duty of this Executive Branch: What would be your opinion of the Biden Administration's Foreign Policy initiatives and, or obvious faux pas?

  President Biden is a Foreign Policy expert of consummate skill just like his brother, Jim, and his son, Hunter.

  America's First Idiot President is corruptly committed to making the World far less safe, while surrendering OUR United States of America's sovereignty whenever, wherever possible.

  Mr. Biden is MY President because I pay close attention to only what rewards me, thus demanding as little sacrifice as is my nature to offer, or shrug.

239 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?