Biden Condemns Menendez For Taking Bribes In Gold Rather Than Fungible Assets Laundered By 20 Different Shell Companies | Eastern NC Now

With Democratic Senator Bob Menendez facing charges of bribery, President Biden weighed in this morning, condemning the Senator for accepting his bribes in bars of gold rather than fungible assets laundered through 20 shell companies.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     With Democratic Senator Bob Menendez facing charges of bribery, President Biden weighed in this morning, condemning the Senator for accepting his bribes in bars of gold rather than fungible assets laundered through 20 shell companies.

    "Gold? That's a real rookie move, Jack!" said Biden to reporters. "If you're gonna get rich off a bribe, you gotta have money wired to several different shell companies in Ukraine which will then launder the money and wire it to your son in exchange for a painting, who will then buy some expensive items, and give you your cut. Come on, man! This ain't rocket surgery! Don't they launder money in Mexico or wherever this Menendez guy is from?"

    Sources say suspicions around Menendez first arose when he started trying to pay for bags of chips in the Capitol cafeteria with gold doubloons.

    Federal investigators confirmed Menendez is now facing several serious charges of receiving bribes in an overly obvious way while not being a member of the Biden family. "We will pursue these charges to the best of our ability," said Attorney General Merrick Garland. "Fortunately, Menendez is the only politician in Washington who has ever received a bribe, so we believe this problem is now contained."

    At publishing time, Hunter Biden had been seen by witnesses desperately trying to pawn off a wheelbarrow full of gold at a corner pawn shop in DC.

poll#204
After nearly 8 months of the United States House of Representatives' Oversight Committee hearings, House Speaker Mike Johnson is pursuing an Impeachment Inquiry into the strong allegations of Bribery, Influence Peddling, Money laundering and possible Treason regarding the Biden Family Shell Corporations' business dealings with foreign nations that are adversarial to our survival: Is it prudent and wise for the Republican controlled U.S. House to investigate this Democratic Socialist President?
  No, Democratics should never be investigated because they are so superior to their Republican counterparts, and care so much more.
  Yes, in a Constitutional Republic, bound by the Rule of Law, no one is above the law, and that law must be applied evenly.
  Not sure ... Now, what got all this started?
298 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back

HbAD0

Latest State and Federal

The teachers union is pushing to cancel school on May 1 as Chicago public schools continue to report dismal student proficiency rates.
With a new roadside plaque unveiled in Ellerbe on April 23, legendary wrestler and local resident André René Roussimoff is finally getting the formal recognition fans believe he deserves.
Cheryl Hines. Dennis Quaid. Nicki Minaj. All became associated with the Trump administration. What happened next?
Two years ago, new media brought President Trump back to the White House. What happened?
Victims’ advocates, prosecutors, law enforcement officials, and families impacted by violent crime gathered Tuesday at the North Carolina State Archives building in Raleigh to recognize National Crime Victims’ Rights Week and honor those affected by crime across North Carolina.
The POLITICO poll found that almost half of respondents think Hollywood players should "be less vocal with their political beliefs."
"They help cultivate a radical hate America agenda, and we can't afford that same toxic ideology in America's War Department.”

HbAD1

Tax Day is a week away, and the reports are in: North Carolinians are winning big with record-setting tax returns thanks to President Trump and Republicans' Working Families Tax Cuts.
“It is a trust fund, a piece of the American economy for every child that they will be able to take out when they are 18.”
For most of her life, Zofia Cheeseman built her life and schedule around being a gymnast until a health scare forced her to look at her life off the mat.
"We could very well end up having a friendly takeover of Cuba."
You can't make this up. If you turned this script into Hollywood, they'd say it's too on the nose.
"Alaska native" firms, most often in Virginia, were paid $45 billion in Pentagon contracts thanks to DEI law.

HbAD2

Small cities rarely make headlines. Their struggles - fiscal mismanagement, leadership vacuums, the slow erosion of public trust - play out in school gymnasiums and wood-paneled council chambers, witnessed by a handful of residents and largely ignored by the world outside.
"Go that way and get down ... there has been a shooting ... there are people dead over here."
Former provost Chris Clemens has dropped his open meetings and public records lawsuit against the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
How the Minnesota Senate race became a purity test for the far Left
America is great because for many decades her immigrants came from a similar cultural background that bore a heavy Christian influence.
After years in the limelight for his combative style both with Democrats and his fellow Republicans, Crenshaw's future now unsure.
Conservatives don't always engage with the broader culture. We're going to change that.
A heavy security presence remains in downtown Austin after a chaotic shooting spree early Sunday morning left two victims dead and 14 others injured.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top