Dodgers Wondering If They Should Have Spent More Time Training For Playoffs And Less Time Honoring Satanic Drag Nuns | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    PHOENIX, AZ     After being swept by the Diamondbacks in humiliating fashion, the Los Angeles Dodgers were left wondering if perhaps they ought to have spent more time practicing baseball and less time honoring Satanic nuns dressed in drag.

    During the offseason, Dodgers management will be looking at what went wrong in yet another disappointing postseason, and everything will be under the microscope: whether they should have acquired better starting pitching at the trade deadline, why the bats went cold in October, and whether perhaps promoting heretical Satan worship in front of families at Dodger Stadium this year caused the wrath of God to fall upon them.

    "Maybe we should have spent more time training our starting pitchers not to give up 4 bombs in an inning and less time honoring Satan," said Manager Dave Roberts in a somber postgame press conference at Chase Field. He shook his head and shrugged. "But that's the benefit of hindsight, I guess."

    "What was your approach to this series, and what went wrong?" asked one reporter.

    "Yeah, uh, right - our main strategy for the year was to, you know, worship Satan and honor perverted drag queen nuns," Roberts said. "It didn't end up paying off, you know, but we stand by our strategy. As the old saying goes, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes you get swept by the 84-win Diamondbacks after you honor blasphemous drag queens who spit upon the Catholic faith."

    "That's just baseball."

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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