Local parents of three Tom and Sarah Briggs got away this weekend for a steamy, romantic interlude consisting of hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Published: Wednesday, October 18th, 2023 @ 5:50 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Local parents of a young girl have grown concerned that she may be rife with internalized misogyny as she was seen pretending her Successful Lawyer Barbie™ was just a mommy.
Published: Wednesday, September 27th, 2023 @ 9:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
The mall's movie theater was offering $4 movie tickets.
Published: Sunday, September 24th, 2023 @ 7:40 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
After enduring dozens of lackluster performances at last night's annual piano recital, local parents reportedly sat up with eager anticipation as the show's only Asian kid took the stage.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 11:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Local parents Dave and Stacey Martin, who raised their daughter on Disney movies that glamorized rebelling against parents, are flabbergasted to see their teenage daughter now rebelling against her parents.
Published: Saturday, June 3rd, 2023 @ 7:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Local parents Tim and Julia Yoder were understandably upset when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie came home drunk last weekend. However, their anger quickly turned to relief upon learning that Carlie had not, in fact, been consuming Bud Light.
Published: Saturday, May 6th, 2023 @ 8:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
According to sources, local parents Josh and Madelyn Bledge are sitting on their back porch relishing the crisp fall air and looking on lovingly as their kids frolic in a pile of autumn leaves and dog poop.
Published: Sunday, November 6th, 2022 @ 11:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
With the arrival of Halloween, local parents are engaged in their annual tradition of buying giant bags of candy to give away to trick-or-treaters on their doorstep while simultaneously sending their own costumed children out to go door-to-door to collect giant bags of candy.
Published: Sunday, November 6th, 2022 @ 9:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Interest in Drag Queen Story Hour has declined drastically across the country after several libraries chose to more accurately name them "Man-Wearing-Lingerie-Wants-To-Spend-Time-With-Your-Kids Hour."
Published: Monday, October 24th, 2022 @ 11:03 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Local parents Kevin and Cyndi Thompson continue to idiotically resist the overpowering, siren call of the minivan.
Published: Friday, August 26th, 2022 @ 9:27 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
PORTLAND, OR — Local parents Cindy and Bob Conners have devised a clever plan to protect their son from gender indoctrination at school.
Published: Tuesday, August 2nd, 2022 @ 12:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Mask wars have once again erupted in Buncombe County after the school board voted during a specially called meeting last week, without public comment, to require all students and staff to wear masks while inside, regardless of vaccination status.
Published: Tuesday, September 14th, 2021 @ 11:03 am
By: Carolina Journal
|