4D Space Chess: Elon Musk Switches Back To Democratic Party, Harrassment Accusations Immediately Withdrawn | Eastern NC Now

Talk about a 4D space chess move: Elon Musk has just announced he is returning to the Democratic Party just days after he moved over to the Republican Party.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    STARBASE, TX     Talk about a 4D space chess move: Elon Musk has just announced he is returning to the Democratic Party just days after he moved over to the Republican Party. As soon as he made the switch back to the liberal political party, the sexual harassment allegation published by the media was withdrawn, the accuser apologized, and Musk was granted $30 million in reparations for the "false and damaging" claim against the "wonderful humanitarian and champion of the Democratic cause."

    Clever. Genius. An impeccable move! Musk said he came up with the idea after watching the accusations come out against Brett Kavanaugh and realized he could simply switch parties back to get rid of the negative press coverage.

    "Elon Musk clearly did this terrible thing because he's now a member of the political party opposite me," said one CNN anchor. "Wait a minute -- breaking news! It appears Elon Musk has switched back to the Democratic Party. Coming up after the break, we dive into the old tweets of the accuser and explain why she may be a Nazi."

    "Plus, we air a special report on how you should only believe some women, replacing the previously announced segment on how you need to believe all women."

    A special investigative report also backed up Musk's strategy, finding that switching to the Republican Party increased one's chances of an old sexual harassment allegation getting suddenly published in every major newspaper on the planet.

    At publishing time, Musk had switched to the Libertarian party so that everyone would just ignore him and roll their eyes while he smokes weed and rants about Bitcoin.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Libertarian rabble rouser Massie defeated in Kentucky
Trump administration policies are bringing the country back from the brink of an uncontrolled influx of illegal immigrants.
Sen. Tillis Urges Senate to Cancel ICE, Border Patrol Vote to Boost Cornyn’s Reelection Bid

HbAD1

AG investigates hospital for Medicaid billing fraud on child gender reassignment surgeries
Ozturk's detention became a flashpoint in President Trump's mass deportation campaign.

HbAD2

(RALEIGH) Today, Governor Stein announced he has signed one bill into law.
Mexican equivalent of ICE conducting raids on migrants in Mexico City

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top