Trump Smites Rock With Nine-Iron, Causing It To Spew Forth Cheap Gasoline

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.85% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.15% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

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Trump Smites Rock With Nine-Iron, Causing It To Spew Forth Cheap Gasoline

Published: Tuesday, July 5th, 2022 @ 10:00 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    PALM BEACH, FL     After hearing the cries of his freedom-loving people, 45th President Donald J. Trump smote a rock with his nine-iron, causing it to spew forth cheap, clean gasoline.

    This petroleum-based miracle comes at a crucial moment in which Americans are suffering from chart-busting inflation and historically-high gas prices caused by Sleepy Joe Biden's terrible socialist fiscal policies.

    Witnesses say Trump, upon hearing the lamentations of his people unable to afford gas, gathered them in front of one of Florida's hard-to-find rocks. He then lifted up his hand, and with his trusty nine-iron, smote the rock twice: and the gasoline came out abundantly, and the crowd filled their sedans and minivans, and their trucks also.

    When asked how he performed a miracle that included the most perfect backswing ever, Trump humbly replied, "I am but a super-duper, incredibly humble-the most humble maybe-vessel to be used to bring America the greatness it very much deserves. You're welcome-but you don't have to thank me."

    White House insiders report Biden rending his garments in grief and terror at the magnificent, humble power of Trump, then demanded that his aide, Legion, figure out a way to prevent Trump from ever becoming president and ushering in a return to peace and prosperity and two-dollar gasoline.

    At publishing time, Trump had used a Big Mac and large fries to feed five thousand of his supporters.

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