Stacey Abrams Claims The 2022 Midterms Have Already Been Stolen | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ATLANTA, GA     Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams sounded the alarm to her fellow 2022 candidates this morning, claiming in a press conference that the 2022 midterm elections have already been stolen.

    "As you know," Abrams told reporters, "I am the rightful governor of Georgia. Brian Kemp stole the 2018 election from me by using the cis-heteropatriarchal, white supremacist tactic of ensuring that the people who voted actually lived in the state of Georgia."

    Abrams, cutting a modelesque figure and appearing to grow increasingly agitated, continued with her criticism of Kemp and her expression of disappointment in the coming November 2022 election results. "To actually travel forward in time and steal the election is a new low for Rethuglicans," said Abrams. "But I am not surprised."

    When asked how she was aware of the outcome of the 2022 midterm elections, Abrams explained that she had discovered a wormhole-like structure in her kitchen that allowed her to travel across space and time. When this reporter asked if he could see the wormhole, Abrams replied, "No, my kitchen is a mess right now."

    Wendy Weiser, Director of the Democracy Program at the Brennan Center for Justice, has joined Abrams in calling out Republicans for stealing the 2022 election. "It's not enough for them to steal elections in the past and present, now they're stealing elections in the future, too," said Weiser. "There truly is no bottom." Weiser called on Democrats to travel to future and past elections to alter their outcomes, but distinguished this from the charges she levied against Republicans, arguing, "It's different when we do it."

    NASA scientists are requesting access to the wormhole, but have received no response from Abrams.

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,217 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?