'Why, Hello There Beautiful!' Says Eric Swalwell Suavely Approaching Sexy Chinese Spy Balloon | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

Publisher's Note: Following this noteworthy and infamous story regarding the Chinese Spy Balloon caper, an inarguable embarrassment for the feckless Biden Administration, will be this series of posts, an archival history, chronicling the Misinformational Misadventure that wholly embarrassed this leader of the Democratic Socialists' Authoritarian regime.

    GREAT FALLS, MT     This week, a Chinese spy balloon flew over Montana, sparking questions and panic among foreign relations staffers and civilians alike. Most Congresspeople have engaged in saber-rattling, but reports have emerged of Rep. Eric Swalwell saying "Why hello there, beautiful," and suavely approaching the sexy Chinese spy balloon.

    "Say, baby - how would you like to go back to my place and look at some classified briefings?" Representative Swalwell adjusted his tie and cuff-links while making his move, according to FBI surveillance footage, sidling up to the balloon with a wink.

    Eyewitnesses confirm that Swalwell shared with the sexy Chinese spy balloon his favorite habits from prior girlfriends, including how "hot" it was when they always had pointed and relentless questions about classified elements of U.S. foreign policy. The married California Democrat also said he likes it when his girlfriends flatter him with compliments like "smart, strong, and useful to the party," adding that he wanted a girlfriend who would fawn over his "hot state secrets" and "totally sexy rundowns of intelligence committee meetings."

    Swalwell was last seen rubbing his hands together with anticipation after he had been approached by another beautiful Chinese woman asking him detailed questions about his job on a date. The woman has since been outed, however, as a Project Veritas reporter.

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Among the many other lackluster performance standards by the Biden Administration - the most recent, allowing the Chinese Spy Balloon unfettered access to the skies above this Sovereign Republic - Joe Biden's foreign policy is considered by most true experts to be mediocre to abysmal at best. If one were to give a fair assessment of the quality of this apex duty of this Executive Branch: What would be your opinion of the Biden Administration's Foreign Policy initiatives and, or obvious faux pas?

  President Biden is a Foreign Policy expert of consummate skill just like his brother, Jim, and his son, Hunter.

  America's First Idiot President is corruptly committed to making the World far less safe, while surrendering OUR United States of America's sovereignty whenever, wherever possible.

  Mr. Biden is MY President because I pay close attention to only what rewards me, thus demanding as little sacrifice as is my nature to offer, or shrug.

239 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?