Congratulations! Study Finds You Chose The Only 100% Correct Branch Of Christianity

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.86% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.14% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

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Congratulations! Study Finds You Chose The Only 100% Correct Branch Of Christianity

Published: Thursday, August 17th, 2023 @ 11:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     Good news, Christian! A new study shows that you have chosen the one and only completely correct branch of the Christian faith! You are one of the very few correct ones, everyone who disagrees with you is pathetically wrong, and you are one of God's preferred children.

    "You truly are on the winning side here," said Dr. H.E. Pennypacker, who oversaw the study that confirmed your victory. "Though other believers have differing views on the nature of God, baptism, eschatology, and the place of the Mosaic Law in the Christian faith - and many of them have compelling evidence from the Bible to back up their beliefs - you are the one who is totally 100% correct! Well done!"

    Despite this confirmation, it is advised that you still remain steadfast in your eagerness to argue about as many secondary issues as possible on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube comments, and everywhere else. "Diverting your focus from proclaiming the Gospel itself is absolutely fine," Dr. Pennypacker said. "As long as you spend all of your time entrenched in unproductive arguments with fellow believers about issues that are not central aspects of salvation, you'll be fine. Remember, you're the right one! God likes you best!"

    At publishing time, it was also confirmed that, as one of God's favorites, you'll be eligible to receive extra perks that all those other wrong-thinking Christians won't get, and those other Christians who are wrong will receive a stern talking-to from God when they arrive in Heaven...if they even get to go to Heaven, that is.

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