Liberal Parents Ground Kid From New Pronouns For A Month | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHICAGO, IL     A local progressive couple sought to solve their teenage child's outburst of rebellion against their authority by grounding the teen from using any cool new pronouns for a full month.

    "That's it! You're officially back to being She/Her for the next month!" father Phil Brooks said sternly. "If you want to enjoy the privileges of choosing your own pronouns, you'll have to respect the rules of this house! No more of this 'Xe/Xer' or 'Hi/Hir' or 'Ximmity/Xe' stuff for the next 30 days, do I make myself clear?"

    The couple's child, Starburst, a teenager who identifies as neither a boy nor a girl nor a human, did not receive the news of the punishment well. "That's so unfair!" Starburst shouted. "All of my friends get to use their preferred pronouns as much as they want! My friend Rhiannon - Fi/Fim - never gets his pronouns taken away! This is so messed up! I need to go find a safe space!"

    Starburst's other parent, April, reportedly attempted to diffuse the situation while remaining firm on the punishment. "Listen now, young person, we are your parents - he is your father, and I'm your birthing person who bleeds - you need to do as we say. You'll be welcome to go back to your new pronouns as soon as you face the consequences of your actions."

    At publishing time, Starburst had made a TikTok video that went viral, weeping about the punishment and vowing to return to using Xe/Xer pronouns the very moment the calendar turned to the following month.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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