woke Biden directs insult at American Christians
Published: Saturday, March 30th, 2024 @ 12:58 pm
By: John Steed
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Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Published: Wednesday, March 27th, 2024 @ 6:50 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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BENTONVILLE, AR — Executives from mega-retailer Walmart announced today they will replace their iconic smiley face that rolls back prices with a frowny face that travels around the store rolling prices forward.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 3:50 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Customers have already begun camping out by the thousands after a local grocery store announced on Black Friday they would sell food for the price it was back when Trump was President.
Published: Saturday, January 13th, 2024 @ 12:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Supermarket chains are installing defibrillators at checkout counters due to the growing number of heart attacks that occur when a customer sees their checkout total.
Published: Tuesday, January 2nd, 2024 @ 7:47 am
By: Babylon Bee
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We picked up our Boykin Spaniel in Florence, South Carolina. The name already given her was “Karma.” The irony of the name was that the day we picked her up was the same day of Donald Trump’s first indictment.
Published: Monday, January 1st, 2024 @ 11:11 am
By: Lib Campbell
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Dr. Jordan B. Peterson has gained an impressive following in recent years. Now, on the heels of his commentaries on the Bible, Dr. Peterson has turned his attention to critiquing beloved children's books.
Published: Thursday, December 21st, 2023 @ 9:58 am
By: Babylon Bee
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DUBLIN, OH — According to sources, local 3rd-grader Carter Browning brought a FRIGGIN' LUNCHABLE to school. Man, he's so lucky!
Published: Friday, December 15th, 2023 @ 11:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As he joined striking members of the United Auto Workers union on the picket line, President Joe Biden expressed his strong support for their efforts, insisting automakers provide all factory employees with 300 days of annual vacation just like he receives.
Published: Monday, November 27th, 2023 @ 6:01 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The order includes definitions of male and female.
Published: Wednesday, November 8th, 2023 @ 8:45 am
By: Daily Wire
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As the Halloween season kicks into high gear, local residents have been buzzing about the newest, most terrifying haunted house they have ever experienced. Surprising reviews claimed the attraction just displays current gasoline and grocery prices along dark, creepy hallways.
Published: Monday, October 30th, 2023 @ 12:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Tonight, America gets to watch as eight Republican candidates duke it out for the chance of possibly being Trump's VP selection! Woo-hoo! The Babylon Bee is here with an exciting list of Easter eggs to look for during tonight's event:
Published: Tuesday, October 24th, 2023 @ 10:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In a press briefing this morning, the White House praised the overwhelming success of "Bidenomics," as the average American now has twice as many jobs as they had two years ago.
Published: Sunday, October 1st, 2023 @ 5:32 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Local patriarch Methuselah spent yet another frustrating day threshing his grain after his wife once again brought up a big argument they had 741 years ago, leading the couple into an uncomfortable silence.
Published: Saturday, September 30th, 2023 @ 11:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
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September is National Food Safety Education Month and the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services is raising awareness about common foodborne illnesses and steps you can take to prevent them.
Published: Thursday, September 28th, 2023 @ 12:21 am
By: Eastern NC NOW Staff
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Former Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio was sentenced Tuesday to 22 years behind bars in connection to the breach at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021.
Published: Thursday, September 14th, 2023 @ 7:49 am
By: Daily Wire
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Grant funds innovative ECU research into fertility challenges
Published: Tuesday, September 12th, 2023 @ 8:15 am
By: ECU News Services
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The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is funding research on the effects of puberty blockers and cross-sex hormone treatment on youth despite acknowledgment from the grantee that these medical interventions can result in sterility.
Published: Tuesday, July 25th, 2023 @ 8:24 am
By: Daily Wire
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Selfish local toddler Madeleine Russell completely failed to appreciate how fabulous and Instagram-worthy her first birthday party was.
Published: Friday, July 21st, 2023 @ 10:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After COVID came and mostly went, suddenly, prices began to rise. The cost of nearly everything soared, especially eggs, a dozen of which eventually cost more than a pound of beef.
Published: Monday, July 17th, 2023 @ 12:24 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Stay free
Published: Tuesday, July 4th, 2023 @ 8:57 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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The Baby Boomer generation stretched from 1946 to 1964. That means members are now 59 to 77 years old, and nearly 10,000 Boomers reach retirement age — 65 — each day.
Published: Wednesday, June 14th, 2023 @ 7:37 am
By: Daily Wire
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Researchers with the U.S. Food & Drug Administration have determined that cereal reaches its peak flavor at 10 pm if eaten on the couch while watching a true crime documentary.
Published: Saturday, June 10th, 2023 @ 11:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Researchers from the University of Florida said a new accidental discovery could help solve criminal activity or find missing persons after learning investigators could collect human DNA samples from the air.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:07 am
By: Daily Wire
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RALEIGH: Select Genetics, a turkey breeder, will create 26 jobs in Wayne County, Governor Roy Cooper announced today. The company will invest $58 million to build a new turkey egg hatchery and establish turkey farms in Goldsboro.
Published: Friday, May 19th, 2023 @ 8:13 am
By: Governor's Office
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With inflation remaining stubbornly persistent, the Easter Bunny has been forced to hide ramen noodle packages around people's yards in lieu of his usual eggs.
Published: Tuesday, May 16th, 2023 @ 9:17 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Asked about holding future Easter Egg hunts at the White House, President Biden babbled that he would be “pushing” out eggs in the 2024 election.
Published: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023 @ 6:51 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Remember when the price of eggs soared, and providers said it was inflation and higher transportation costs and a sudden drop in production and some kind of avian flu?
Published: Thursday, April 20th, 2023 @ 6:06 pm
By: Daily Wire
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A group of young children participating in an Easter Egg hunt at the White House found themselves at the center of unexpected controversy after they discovered more of President Joe Biden's classified documents hidden inside some of the colorful Easter eggs.
Published: Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 @ 12:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local community Easter egg hunt ground to a halt yesterday as conservative commentator Matt Walsh kept jumping out from nearby bushes to inform the children that it's biologically impossible for a bunny to lay eggs.
Published: Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 @ 1:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
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In Tuesday's N.C. stop, Biden claimed that “extreme MAGA Republicans” are threatening to undo all of the progress that he has made over the past 2.5 years.
Published: Monday, April 17th, 2023 @ 11:36 pm
By: Carolina Journal
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Former President Donald Trump told Fox News host Tucker Carlson on Tuesday night that he didn’t think it was “possible” for President Joe Biden to make it through another campaign in 2024.
Published: Thursday, April 13th, 2023 @ 1:40 pm
By: Daily Wire
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