Dread it. Run from it. 2024 has arrived all the same. But fear not as the team at The Babylon Bee has been hard at work for you coming up with the most probable, and completely accurate 2024 predictions to help you make it through the New Year.
Published: Tuesday, March 26th, 2024 @ 12:22 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Word of a new gay nightclub spread rapidly through the nation's capital over the weekend, with the LGBTQ community flocking to line up outside the latest trendy hotspot.
Published: Saturday, March 2nd, 2024 @ 9:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Human Rights Campaign is forever on the hunt for companies that aren't gay enough. If they ever show up at your place of business and discover you're inadequately queer, watch out! They'll break your kneecaps!
Published: Friday, February 9th, 2024 @ 5:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A local Chick-fil-A ground to a halt Wednesday after an employee accidentally told another employee, "My pleasure." As a result, the pair of employees became trapped in an endless loop of "my pleasure" with no end in sight.
Published: Wednesday, December 6th, 2023 @ 2:20 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Did you know that you might be gay and not even know it? It's true! We've consulted with experts in psychology and sodomy to help you identify the telltale signs that you are a closet homosexual.
Published: Monday, August 7th, 2023 @ 9:03 am
By: Babylon Bee
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At long last, the end of the world is upon us. At any minute the trumpets will sound and we'll be caught up into heaven, leaving only our clothes and jewelry behind-- just like in the theologically accurate international blockbuster film Left Behind.
Published: Wednesday, July 5th, 2023 @ 12:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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After decades of total dominance, the Dallas Cowboys have been dethroned by the Los Angeles Dodgers as the gayest team in all of sports.
Published: Thursday, June 22nd, 2023 @ 12:21 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Against all odds, the U.S. Navy has somehow managed to become even gayer, sources say.
Published: Saturday, June 3rd, 2023 @ 4:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A jury found musician Ed Sheeran, who stood accused of copying Marvin Gaye’s 1973 hit “Let’s Get It On” when he composed his 2014 single “Thinking Out Loud,” not liable Thursday in the copyright infringement lawsuit brought against him, according to NBC News.
Published: Saturday, May 6th, 2023 @ 11:35 am
By: Daily Wire
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Mrs. Ann Gaynell Barber Gaines, age 85, a resident of Washington, NC and former resident of Clinton, NC, died Friday November 11, 2022, at ECU Health Beaufort Campus.
Published: Tuesday, November 15th, 2022 @ 10:55 am
By: Announcements
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Being a homophobic bigot is one of the worst things you can be. It's just like being Hitler! To make sure you're not a homophobic bigot, keep an eye out for these eight troubling signs. If you show any one of these symptoms, get help immediately.
Published: Friday, October 14th, 2022 @ 2:07 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Critics swarmed Twitter following an announcement from Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre about a new play — “I, Joan” — that portrays the legendary martyr Joan of Arc as “a legendary leader, who in this production, uses the pronouns ‘they/them.'”
Published: Friday, August 26th, 2022 @ 10:43 am
By: Daily Wire
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Susan Gaye Fitzgerald Fincke, age 69, a resident of Chocowinity, NC, passed away Thursday August 25, 2016, at Vidant Beaufort Hospital in Washington.
Published: Monday, August 29th, 2016 @ 11:37 am
By: Announcements
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Mrs. Polly Cora Smith Cox, age 94, a resident of 1060 Goose Creek Road, Washington, died Saturday, April 25, 2015 at Vidant Medical Center in Greenville.
Published: Tuesday, April 28th, 2015 @ 3:36 pm
By: Announcements
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Mr. Archie “Jay” Edmond Evans, Jr., age 73, a resident of 1639 South Asbury Church Road, Washington, NC died Sunday, August 3, 2014 at Vidant Medical Center of Greenville.
Published: Tuesday, August 5th, 2014 @ 1:42 pm
By: Announcements
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Ethel Bagby Covington Bruce, age 90, of Washington, North Carolina ended her earthly life and went to be with her Heavenly Father on Thursday, January 24, 2013.
Published: Friday, February 8th, 2013 @ 12:08 pm
By: Announcements
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Mr. Lonsdale “Dale” Clifford Mitchell, age 62, a resident of 204 Appomattox Lane, Chocowinity, died Monday, June 20, 2011, at Pitt County Memorial Hospital.
Published: Monday, June 27th, 2011 @ 9:29 am
By: Announcements
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