In the wake of its decision to return to a more attractive marketing presentation of its product, clothing maker Victoria's Secret has quietly canceled its planned Lizzo lingerie line.
Published: Monday, December 11th, 2023 @ 12:46 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
After years of being totally obscured by Lizzo's shadow, her backup dancers have finally had enough.
Published: Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023 @ 9:31 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
A.I.-generated supermodels are turning heads and garnering millions of followers with their slim, lithe, fake bodies showing off fake bikinis and elegant, non-existent gowns.
Published: Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023 @ 3:06 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
As news reports regarding plus-sized rapper/actress/flutist Lizzo's alleged outrageous acts that resulted in her being sued by former backup dancers, the Library of Congress discretely made the decision to thoroughly clean President James Madison's crystal flute
Published: Sunday, October 1st, 2023 @ 7:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
After a terrifying three days, the prophet Jonah gathered his Assyrian followers around him to recount the harrowing tale of being tossed into the sea and swallowed by Lizzo, that mighty beast of old.
Published: Saturday, September 30th, 2023 @ 7:50 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
A lawsuit brought by former members of Lizzo's backup dance team is alleging the corpulent singer terrorized them by eating them and their entire families.
Published: Friday, September 29th, 2023 @ 11:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
According to reports, filming on The Mandalorian Season 3 was delayed for days as one of the cast members, Lizzo, ate Baby Yoda.
Published: Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 @ 11:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Stacey Abrams took the stage at a Lizzo concert in Atlanta, making a last-minute plea for voters to show up on November 8 while reiterating her firm pro-abortion stance.
Published: Tuesday, November 29th, 2022 @ 9:36 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
A month ago, Lizzo claimed she was oppressed. On Tuesday night, she played James Madison’s crystal flute before thousands as the nation goes to hell in a hand-basket.
Published: Tuesday, November 1st, 2022 @ 10:18 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
We have witnessed many beautiful sights in our day, but nothing - not even the births of our own children - can compare to the GOREGOUSNESS that was Lizzo twerking in Abraham Lincoln's top hat.
Published: Sunday, October 9th, 2022 @ 1:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
After musical artist and professional twerker Lizzo made waves by playing James Madison's crystal flute on stage, Beyoncé upped the ante by performing in Times Square wearing George Washington's false teeth.
Published: Friday, October 7th, 2022 @ 7:48 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
"Lizzo, your fans hate you, they're obviously advocating for you to die, you just can't see it because they're cheering you on as you kill yourself."
Published: Friday, October 7th, 2022 @ 1:25 am
By: Daily Wire
|
Lizzo made several statements during her MTV Video Music Awards acceptance speech, including a thinly veiled response to comedian Aries Spears.
Published: Friday, September 9th, 2022 @ 10:40 am
By: Daily Wire
|
NEWARK, NJ — Critically acclaimed, larger-than-life star Lizzo, recently accepted her music video award at MTV's VMAs. While doing so, the artist took the time to speak out about the systemic oppression of having to walk all the way down to this stage to accept an award she can't even eat.
Published: Monday, September 5th, 2022 @ 7:51 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|