Claudine Gay Claims White Supremacists Went Back In Time And Forced Her To Plagiarize At Gunpoint | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on Eastern NC NOW with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CAMBRIDGE, MA     In a chilling revelation, a tearful Claudine Gay has disclosed that a gang of time-traveling white supremacists went back to the year 1997 and forced her to plagiarize at gunpoint.

    Holding back tears, Gay recounted the tale of several racists appearing to her as she was finishing up her Ph.D dissertation in the late '90s, pointing handguns at her, and forcing her to copy excerpts from other sources.

    "They pointed guns at me and said, 'Copy this paper, Gay!'" she told reporters. "They were - they were wearing MAGA hats, and they said, 'Harvard is merit-based country! Now copy the paper if you want to live!'" Gay claimed they made her paraphrase ideas from other scholars and academics and copy some sentences and phrases outright, all while she protested that it was ethically wrong and would get her in trouble someday. "Then they asked if I knew where they could buy some first-edition Pokemon cards."

    "I really wish that would have clued me in to go pick up a Charizard, but alas."

    Gay warns that her resignation could lead to other academics being assaulted by this dangerous gang of time-jumping racists, who will stop at nothing to bring every person of color in a position of power at a university down by going back in time and making them plagiarize.

    "I've always said, 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,'" she said. "But now, we also have time-traveling white supremacists to fear."
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Shipping Giant Maersk Suspends Red Sea Transits ‘Until Further Notice’ After Houthi Attack Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Epstein Docs Delayed To Give Bill Clinton Time To Flee The Country


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Biden abuses power to turn statute on its head; womens groups to sue
The Missouri Senate approved a constitutional amendment to ban non-U.S. citizens from voting and also ban ranked-choice voting.
Democrats prosecuting political opponets just like foreign dictrators do
populist / nationalist / sovereigntist right are kingmakers for new government
18 year old boy who thinks he is girl planned to shoot up elementary school in Maryland
Biden assault on democracy continues to build as he ramps up dictatorship
One would think that the former Attorney General would have known better
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
UNC board committee votes unanimously to end DEI in UNC system

HbAD1

Police in the nation’s capital are not stopping illegal aliens who are driving around without license plates, according to a new report.
Davidaon County student suspended for using correct legal term for those in country illegally
Lawmakers and privacy experts on both sides of the political spectrum are sounding the alarm on a provision in a spy powers reform bill that one senator described as one of the “most terrifying expansions of government surveillance” in history
given to illegals in Mexico before they even get to US: NGOs connected to Mayorkas
committee gets enough valid signatures to force vote on removing Oakland, CA's Soros DA
other pro-terrorist protests in Chicago shout "Death to America" in Farsi

HbAD2

Only two of the so-called “three Johns” will be competing to replace Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) as leader of the Senate GOP.
House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan (R-OH) is looking into whether GoFundMe and Eventbrite cooperated with federal law enforcement during their investigation into the financial transactions of supporters of former President Donald Trump.
Turkish diplomatic sources say he did
Popularity of government leader crashes, even among his own party members.
Wisconsin voters ban private money, nonprofits from the election process after 2020 ‘Zuckerbucks’ controversy; spotlight now on 22 states that still allow it.
6 month old baby fighting for life after mother killed; policewoman finally arrives, shoots knifeman

HbAD3

 
Back to Top