In what has become one of the city's most cherished traditions, San Francisco residents gathered this evening for the ceremonial lighting of the giant crack pipe.
Published: Saturday, February 3rd, 2024 @ 8:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
A lucky young boy who went trick-or-treating at the United States Capitol building came away with $40 billion in candy after dressing up as Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.
Published: Saturday, December 23rd, 2023 @ 3:29 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
In response to mounting criticism of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnel's fitness to serve, the Republican party has replaced McConnell with a far more lifelike cardboard cutout of the Kentucky senator, according to sources.
Published: Tuesday, November 7th, 2023 @ 1:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
We're several days into a new school year, and if your kid hasn't been suspended yet, you may need to take a hard look at what type of child you're raising.
Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 6:56 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Tonight, America gets to watch as eight Republican candidates duke it out for the chance of possibly being Trump's VP selection! Woo-hoo! The Babylon Bee is here with an exciting list of Easter eggs to look for during tonight's event:
Published: Tuesday, October 24th, 2023 @ 10:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
"It was supposed to be a stop-and-go place."
Published: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 @ 8:31 pm
By: Daily Wire
|
Former Superintendent Scott Ziegler used his position to retaliate against a teacher who cooperated with Virginia investigators
Published: Friday, October 20th, 2023 @ 9:29 am
By: Daily Wire
|
As Hurricane Hilary looms off the shores of the Golden State, Californians are rushing to prepare by nailing plywood boards onto their tent flaps and filling sandbags to protect their cardboard boxes.
Published: Tuesday, October 17th, 2023 @ 7:27 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Facing sexual assault 30-40 times a day, administrators told teacher to put a piece of cardboard in front of her groin — and fired her after she spoke to government investigators
Published: Sunday, October 8th, 2023 @ 4:37 am
By: Daily Wire
|
WINNEMUCCA, NV — The Jorgensen family's home lies in a sea of residences, each more vulnerable than the last, ignorant of the numerous daily threats that seek nothing more than to infiltrate the innocent abode and cause a plethora of unspeakable harms upon them.
Published: Saturday, October 7th, 2023 @ 11:17 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
The Republican National Committee has been hard at work seeking a possible replacement for Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, sending teams of volunteers to the nation's beaches in search of a viable candidate.
Published: Wednesday, October 4th, 2023 @ 5:05 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
According to reports, hundreds of thousands of people have fled California in recent years, citing minor annoyances like aggressive homeless people, increased violent crime, and crippling taxes.
Published: Wednesday, April 5th, 2023 @ 8:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
The world-renowned Gringotts Bank has filed for bankruptcy and is closing its doors permanently
Published: Monday, March 27th, 2023 @ 1:54 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Despite a Christmas haul that included a $250 Marvel-themed "Sanctum Sanctorum" LEGO set, the long-range "NERF Ultra Pharoah Blaster" gun for $50, and an Xbox for $499, the most coveted gift among the children in the Coogan household this year was the wrapping paper tube
Published: Friday, January 6th, 2023 @ 8:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
With 11 minutes of estimated assembly time and a single Allen wrench as a required toolset, the $38 IKEA bunk bed has been rated as "probably safe."
Published: Thursday, December 15th, 2022 @ 9:57 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Sporting a purple pin-striped suit and top hat while twirling a cane whimsically, President Biden announced today that he has hidden five golden crack pipes among the millions of taxpayer-funded safe smoking kits.
Published: Monday, December 12th, 2022 @ 1:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
This week, the parent company of the popular toy "Elf on a Shelf" announced a new extension to their product line – "Antifa On A Shelf," an Antifa-themed doll that burns down a different part of the house every night while the family sleeps.
Published: Thursday, December 8th, 2022 @ 2:22 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
A local man found cause for great concern this week when he discovered Amazon was moving forward with plans to build a distribution hub located in his front yard.
Published: Thursday, November 24th, 2022 @ 9:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Since her involuntary retirement from her lucrative gig as Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has been seen lingering on the street corners of the National Mall with a cardboard sign that says "Will trade stock tips 4 food."
Published: Thursday, November 24th, 2022 @ 8:12 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
According to reports from residents living near Liz Cheney's Wyoming home, the lame-duck representative for the state's at-large congressional district is really feeling the spirit of the holidays.
Published: Friday, November 11th, 2022 @ 9:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
It can be hard to bother voting, especially when every election that hasn't gone your way has been rigged. But don't give up; you can do plenty to keep our elections safe and fair.
Published: Thursday, November 3rd, 2022 @ 8:31 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
Homeless vagrant Jean-Michel de Beauvoir won the coveted Palme d'Louvre award for Best in Fashion after stumbling onto the stage during Paris Fashion Week during a Balenciaga show.
Published: Tuesday, October 11th, 2022 @ 1:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
Rumor going around the county is that commissioners (least one of then does) want to build two mega sites to collect trash, one on the Southside to collect all bulk containers plus central location for storm debris, vegetation, and tree limbs.
Published: Tuesday, August 30th, 2022 @ 9:25 am
By: Tandy Oliver Dunn
|
Fourth grade of Elementary School is a pivotal year. Children are on the cusp of adolescence, becoming more social, beginning to realize all they can do as their interests and gifts become more self-evident.
Published: Monday, June 20th, 2022 @ 11:22 am
By: Lib Campbell
|
Fox News host Greg Gutfeld on Wednesday night hit back at “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert for mocking Fox News after a suspect allegedly set fire to a Christmas tree outside the New York City headquarters of Fox News and News Corp.
Published: Tuesday, June 14th, 2022 @ 9:22 am
By: Daily Wire
|
With a run time of one-and-a-half minutes, new release Top Gun: Predator shows a drone completing the exact same mission as in Maverick, but way faster.
Published: Sunday, June 12th, 2022 @ 12:17 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
A small thrift shop in downtown Claremont has rebranded itself as "vintage" to increase prices by up to 800%.
Published: Monday, May 30th, 2022 @ 7:02 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
I just read Ernie's letter detailing his six accomplishments in seven years, and I am relieved to see he is still alive and living in Beaufort County.
Published: Sunday, May 15th, 2022 @ 11:19 pm
By: Harry Meredith, Jr.
|
You’ve been waiting and waiting for the lamp you ordered to arrive at your home, but still nothing. You’ve likely chalked it up to Biden’s economy and a disrupted supply chain.
Published: Friday, January 28th, 2022 @ 11:13 am
By: John Locke Foundation
|
As we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, many of us will give thanks for the chance to spend time with family and friends, and for the indulgent meal. But inflation will take the first bite, making Thanksgiving 2021 the most expensive in history.
Published: Friday, November 19th, 2021 @ 10:02 pm
By: Carolina Journal
|
ABC chairman A.D. Zander Guy Jr. has resigned as chairman of the N.C. Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission.
Published: Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021 @ 9:42 am
By: Carolina Journal
|
The N.C. Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission and the company operating the state’s liquor warehouses are trying to offer a modicum of relief to local boards suffering from problems with the global supply chain.
Published: Tuesday, August 24th, 2021 @ 5:14 pm
By: Carolina Journal
|
Effective December 4, 2020, the following operational changes are being implemented at the Yeatesville solid waste collection site located at 16954 US 264 Hwy E, Washington, NC 27889.
Published: Friday, December 4th, 2020 @ 3:35 pm
By: Stan Deatherage
|
Good evening. I'd like to provide the American people with an update on our efforts to protect the integrity of our very important 2020 election.
Published: Tuesday, November 10th, 2020 @ 6:54 am
By: Stan Deatherage
|