10 Items That Will Definitely Get Your Kid Suspended From School

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.88% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.12% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

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10 Items That Will Definitely Get Your Kid Suspended From School

Published: Monday, November 6th, 2023 @ 6:56 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    We're several days into a new school year, and if your kid hasn't been suspended yet, you may need to take a hard look at what type of child you're raising. It doesn't take much these days for a kid to get kicked out of public school, even if it's just the tiniest amount of patriotism!

    The Babylon Bee is here to help prepare you for the inevitability of your child's suspension by listing the following items certain to get them booted from school.

Books that don't include graphic sexual content: Non-queer books are far-right propaganda.
Spiffy sport coat and bow tie: Teachers know an homage to Tucker Carlson when they see one. Disgusting.
White skin: Having white skin is a gateway drug to fascism.
A poster in their locker of Ellen Page: He's ELLIOT, you dead-naming bigot!
An 8-foot-tall cardboard cutout of Christopher Columbus: Everyone who sees it will be traumatized!
High-capacity assault facts: Facts are violence!
Independent thinking: That's not what school is for!!
Buffalo hat: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Jeremy's Chocolate bars: Hate-candy is strictly prohibited.
A copy of The Babylon Bee Guide To Gender: Available for pre-order now!

If your child is taking any of the items listed above to school, go ahead and prepare to have them spend more time with you at home (which may not be the worst thing).

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