Capitol Trick-Or-Treater Dressed As Zelensky Receives $40 Billion In Candy | Eastern North Carolina Now

A lucky young boy who went trick-or-treating at the United States Capitol building came away with $40 billion in candy after dressing up as Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     A lucky young boy who went trick-or-treating at the United States Capitol building came away with $40 billion in candy after dressing up as Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

    "Jackpot! I knew this costume would pay off big time!" shouted young Tommy Billington after being notified of his candy haul. "All my friends thought I was stupid for dressing up like that Zelensky guy who is always on the news, but now they look like the stupid ones. I've got enough candy to last me 20 lifetimes!"

    Billington had arrived early for trick-or-treating in a cardboard mask depicting the Ukrainian President's face. Believing him to be the actual Zelensky due to his short stature, Capitol Police ushered him directly into the corridors of the Capitol to meet with congressional leadership. Within an hour, Billington had been informed he would receive $40 billion worth of candy. "He knows his stuff," said one unnamed member of Congress. "He specifically asked that half of it be in Reese's peanut butter cups, with the remainder being split evenly in Snickers, Twix, KitKat, and Jolly Ranchers. This was identical to a request we had received from President Zelensky last year."

    Soon afterward, Billington watched excitedly as Capitol Police officers helped load pallets laden with candy-filled duffle bags onto several large trucks outside the Capitol building. "I'm never wearing a different costume," he said. "Dressed as this Zelensky guy, I can get whatever I want!"

    At publishing time, Billington was believed to be on his way to the White House, where he was expected to ask President Biden to pledge an additional $25 billion in candy over the next six months.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Top 10 Ways To Acquire Wealth Under Bidenomics Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics IRS: Biden's 87,000 tax auditors coming for the middle class


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

On Friday, in a case that the United States government and his employer have denounced as a sham, a Russian court found Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich, the first U.S. journalist to face such a charge since Nicholas Daniloff in 1986, guilty of espionage
GovTrack ranked Kamala Harris the most liberal member of the US Senate
"The largest deportation effort in American history is going to have one hell of a co-pilot," one organization exclaimed.
"border czar" is supporter of wide open illegal immigration
There are alternatives. Our best and brightest should seek them out

HbAD1

It is time we elected new board members who will speak up for the people
Short of some unforeseen catastrophe Trump will win easily.
Former President Donald Trump once again addressed the proposed transition policies in the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” saying in a social media post on Wednesday night that Democrats are trying to deceptively “hook” him with those proposals.
Obama led defenstration of Biden succeeds; party bosses control nomination
wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD

HbAD2

After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.
DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.
In a controversial new episode of Paw Patrol that aired this week on Nick Jr., Chase gets neutered so he can become the world's first transgender pup.
Ray Epps, the man accused by many of being involved with federal law enforcement during the January 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol, said over the weekend that Fox News host Tucker Carlson was “obsessed” with him and trying to ruin his life.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top