Following a closed-door meeting to discuss the issue and take an official vote, residents of the state of Texas announced their plan to continue pretending Whataburger is good.
Published: Sunday, December 10th, 2023 @ 11:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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ntil the early 20th century classical chess doctrine demanded centre squares be controlled and occupied by central pawns.
Published: Friday, December 1st, 2023 @ 1:23 am
By: The Correspondent
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A group of American cowboys from Montana and Arkansas answered a call for help from Israelis in need of labor as the war with Hamas has caused foreign agriculture workers to flee, and reservists to leave their day jobs to fight in Gaza.
Published: Monday, November 27th, 2023 @ 10:52 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Democratic power player George Norcross says officials cited rules banning “obscene or indecent” displays when they ejected him from Lincoln Financial Field for hanging American and Israeli flags from his luxury box — but the team tells a different story.
Published: Tuesday, November 21st, 2023 @ 11:24 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Legendary stock trader Jesse Livermore frequently opined the importance of weather in establishing commodity positions. The man who broke Wall Street twice (1907, 1929) and died penniless from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Published: Thursday, September 21st, 2023 @ 11:58 am
By: The Correspondent
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As New York City continues to face a growing crisis due to ongoing waves of illegal migrants flooding into the city, Mayor Eric Adams reached out to the state of Texas to ask if they still had any of those cowboys with the whips.
Published: Monday, September 11th, 2023 @ 7:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After decades of total dominance, the Dallas Cowboys have been dethroned by the Los Angeles Dodgers as the gayest team in all of sports.
Published: Thursday, June 22nd, 2023 @ 12:21 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local man Steve Rollins juked and spun his way past church greeters during a visit to First Baptist Church today, stunning church staff with his world-class elusiveness.
Published: Wednesday, May 31st, 2023 @ 5:26 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Not since KLA shock elements seized Kosovo province from the clutches of Belgrade have a pair of southern gunslingers stunned the world like Isaiah Wong and Nijel Pack the weekend past.
Published: Saturday, April 1st, 2023 @ 10:02 am
By: The Correspondent
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The Super Bowl referees held a brief meeting before the game began to go ahead and decide which team will take home the Lombardi trophy.
Published: Thursday, February 16th, 2023 @ 4:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, a local ranch has decided to go green, exchanging their massive herd of beef cows for a herd of more environmentally friendly and delicious crickets.
Published: Sunday, January 29th, 2023 @ 8:42 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Buccaneers’ QB Tom Brady thanked members of the press for their “effort” this year and said he was “very grateful” for everyone’s support as speculation mounts about his NFL future.
Published: Wednesday, January 25th, 2023 @ 1:25 am
By: Daily Wire
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In a moving press conference following a crushing loss to the Dallas Cowboys, quarterback Tom Brady said how thankful he was to have given up life with a supermodel wife and three beautiful children to lose in the first round of playoffs.
Published: Monday, January 23rd, 2023 @ 9:34 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A month ago when Ukraine was firing 2500 artillery rounds a day in support of their sixteen brigades defending Bakhmut, the Russian high command prescribed a Penicillen solution.
Published: Wednesday, January 18th, 2023 @ 12:58 pm
By: The Correspondent
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Unlike college football, where handicapping is all about run-stopping defence, coaching and the home field advantage, in the NFL playoffs algo-driven power ratings are the sword, the shield -- and the yield
Published: Wednesday, January 11th, 2023 @ 10:34 am
By: The Correspondent
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Paramount Global reported that 7.4 million people tuned in to the premiere episode Sunday, including viewers from three Paramount Network telecasts, CMT, and streaming on Paramount+, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
Published: Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023 @ 9:46 pm
By: Daily Wire
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‘Slave Auction’: NFL VP Of Football Operations Reportedly Ripped Scouting Combine At League MeetingsThe NFL’s executive vice president of football operations precipitated anger at league meetings this week by allegedly likening the NFL scouting combine, where college players perform so teams can judge whether they fit their needs, to a “slave auction.”
Published: Sunday, December 25th, 2022 @ 3:52 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Make more staying home
Published: Friday, December 23rd, 2022 @ 6:52 am
By: Countrygirl1411
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The Turnage Theater celebrated Christmas early: "The Cowboy Way."
Published: Friday, December 16th, 2022 @ 4:41 am
By: Wyatt Sanderman Day
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My latest piece for the American Institute for Economic Research discusses a critical shortcoming in Emily Oster’s October 31 essay in The Atlantic calling for a “pandemic amnesty.”
Published: Monday, December 12th, 2022 @ 12:35 am
By: John Locke Foundation
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NBA star LeBron James said he stopped being a fan of the Dallas Cowboys over what he called the organization’s stance regarding its players kneeling during the national anthem.
Published: Saturday, December 10th, 2022 @ 1:08 am
By: Daily Wire
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According to sources, local man Jeremy Thomas has spent three weeks stuck in a perpetual loop, going upstairs, forgetting why he went upstairs, and then going back downstairs. The loop began on a Sunday night after a Cowboys game and has continued since.
Published: Friday, December 9th, 2022 @ 5:00 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Mary “Ruth” Credle Guthrie of Belhaven, NC passed away at the age of 98 on October 29, 2022, surrounded by family. She was living with family in Greenville, NC at the time of her death.
Published: Monday, October 31st, 2022 @ 8:22 am
By: Announcements
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OK State stunk it up worse than a newly anointed Democrat running county wide in the Fightin' 79th: Wrong fight, wrong place, wrong time.
Published: Sunday, October 30th, 2022 @ 11:00 pm
By: The Correspondent
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With the fate of all mankind teetering on the brink of elimination, if not outright extinction as reconstituted Russian battle formations prepare to strike western Ukraine from Belarus, we are reminded that most nuanced wisdom from The Big Man of the 79th.
Published: Friday, October 28th, 2022 @ 3:43 pm
By: The Correspondent
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Nine thousand battle-hardened Russian shock troops arrived in Belarus the past week in addition to several hundred armoured fighting vehicles and advanced air-defence elements.
Published: Monday, October 24th, 2022 @ 11:00 pm
By: The Correspondent
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The Dallas Cowboys lost on the road to the Philadelphia Eagles over the weekend, but most of the team is reporting waves of relief to learn that the chorus of boos they heard the entire time was not for them, but for the honorary Captian for the coin toss, Jill Biden.
Published: Monday, October 24th, 2022 @ 1:07 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With the fate of all mankind hanging in the balance in the weeks before General Winter arrives.
Published: Saturday, October 22nd, 2022 @ 10:36 am
By: The Correspondent
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The cancel mob is out for Hall of Fame quarterback-turned NFL announcer Troy Aikman, after his allegedly sexist comment on a penalty called during Monday Night Football.
Published: Monday, October 17th, 2022 @ 12:26 am
By: Daily Wire
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We are SO thankful that Hollywood has finally stopped their bigotry and made a few movies with LGBTQ+ representation.
Published: Sunday, October 9th, 2022 @ 1:49 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A New Mexico state judge used a 14th Amendment provision Tuesday to order the removal of an Otero County official, who co-founded Cowboys for Trump, from public office due to his presence at the U.S. Capitol building on January 6, 2021.
Published: Thursday, September 22nd, 2022 @ 7:28 am
By: Daily Wire
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Throws the ball 55 yards in the air for one massive gain, leads Bucs to 19-3 victory
Published: Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 @ 12:00 pm
By: Daily Wire
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A Wisconsin resident thought he was doing a good deed by helping a man who knocked on his door and asked for help. It turns out, however, the man “in need” was actually the suspect who had allegedly just plowed through the holiday parade in Waukesha.
Published: Friday, July 29th, 2022 @ 9:27 am
By: Daily Wire
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Dallas Cowboys linebacker Leighton Vander Esch paused for a moment to feed the bears while on a recent fishing trip with family and friends.
Published: Monday, July 18th, 2022 @ 9:03 am
By: Daily Wire
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