|
According to sources, a local couple has settled in for a romantic evening of sitting down next to each other and sending memes back and forth.
Published: Tuesday, December 12th, 2023 @ 12:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Soon-to-be-wed Maddyssen Brunson was carefully reading the prenuptial agreement given to her by future husband, Teigan Hanks, when she came across a section that caused some confusion, forcing her to ask a clarifying question.
Published: Friday, November 17th, 2023 @ 6:01 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all blasters.
Published: Friday, September 8th, 2023 @ 8:46 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
The Galactic Empire announced new merchandise today, with the Emperor releasing a special hat saying "But his Death Star".
Published: Thursday, July 27th, 2023 @ 10:16 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
In a massive technological breakthrough, the Galactic Empire has at last developed a door that doesn't simply open when you shoot the control panel with a blaster.
Published: Tuesday, May 30th, 2023 @ 7:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
In a bid to draw large corporate interests to conduct business in South Carolina and bring tens of thousands of jobs to the state, former governor and U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley has informed Emperor Palpatine that South Carolina is the ideal location to build a new Death Star.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
In a bid to both stay ahead of the technological curve and help usher in the end of the world, tech companies continue to repeatedly comb through every dystopian science fiction novel they can find in order to come up with their next ideas.
Published: Tuesday, February 21st, 2023 @ 3:37 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Acknowledging past decisions that, while well intended, were destructive, and learning a ragtag team of rebels might win again, the Galactic Empire has proposed amnesty for anyone who may have gotten a little carried away and blown up several planets.
Published: Monday, November 7th, 2022 @ 7:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
After another controversial video was released showing the dark Jedi Force-choking a suspected Jedi Monday afternoon, Dark Lord of the Sith Supreme Darth Vader has been jailed on suspicion of excessive use of the Force.
Published: Saturday, September 24th, 2022 @ 9:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
According to Kamala Harris, America's southern border is totally secure! Whew--that's great news!
Published: Friday, September 23rd, 2022 @ 9:25 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
The Empire recently passed a series of red flag laws designed to help identify individuals who might be a danger to themselves and others. The laws passed the Galactic Senate unanimously with one vote from the Emperor, since he is the Senate.
Published: Monday, July 4th, 2022 @ 1:43 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Emperor Palpatine's office has announced the construction of a bigger and even more powerful Death Star equipped with a 9mm. The Death Star's blast is said to be so powerful it can blow the core out of a planet.
Published: Friday, June 10th, 2022 @ 11:40 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
Elon Musk and a brave band of adventurers snuck aboard the Twitter Death Star to free prisoners located on the space station's detention level, sources with the Galactic Rebellion confirm.
Published: Friday, April 22nd, 2022 @ 2:13 am
By: Babylon Bee
|
|
It got so bad he had to caution them on their language.
Published: Wednesday, January 22nd, 2020 @ 9:18 pm
By: LifeZette
|
|
Is it really time for the Jedi to end?
Published: Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018 @ 3:01 am
By: Christopher Maye
|