Just one day after signing the richest contract in baseball history, Shohei Ohtani has reportedly begun having second thoughts about the Dodgers after meeting his new hitting coaches.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 5:45 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Baseball superstar Shohei Ohtani signed a record-shattering $700 million contract today with the Los Angeles Dodgers, which will net him about 58 bucks after taxes.
Published: Wednesday, February 21st, 2024 @ 4:30 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Beaufort County Board of Commissioners will hold a special called meeting with the Beaufort County Board of Education on Wednesday, February 7, 2024 at 3:30 PM at the Professional Development Center located at 845 Pierce St, Washington, NC.
Published: Friday, February 9th, 2024 @ 5:23 am
By: Katie Mosher
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According to Sky News Arabia, an official from the U.S. Defense Department informed them that the Houthis in Yemen have prepared plans to target American bases in the Arab region.
Published: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024 @ 1:44 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local little league baseball player found himself embroiled in controversy this week, as he was confronted with accusations that he wears 12% blackface when taking the field for games.
Published: Sunday, February 4th, 2024 @ 8:39 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Local t-ball player Luther Haddox locked up his team's "Most Valuable Player" award after running somewhat in the general direction of first base.
Published: Friday, January 26th, 2024 @ 9:02 am
By: Babylon Bee
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These days, it can be hard to tell if the hospital you're at is also a staging ground for Islamist terrorists to commit mass murder! We at the Babylon Bee have assembled a list of ten subtle clues to help you discern if the hospital you're at is actually a Hamas base:
Published: Friday, January 26th, 2024 @ 8:10 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With American bases in Iraq and Syria increasingly suffering direct hits from Hezbollah and Houthi ballistic missiles, the recent confirmation of Iranian made "358" systems in theatre may explain the failure of Western anti-drone air-defense programming.
Published: Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024 @ 10:16 pm
By: The Correspondent
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An investigation by Israeli media has reportedly found that Hamas terrorists used chemical weapons to suffocate Israeli soldiers stationed at the Nahal Oz surveillance control center on October 7.
Published: Tuesday, January 9th, 2024 @ 6:05 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In a horrific yet tiny accident, Houston Astros second baseman José Altuve was accidentally stepped on as the Texas Rangers stormed the mound to celebrate making it to the World Series.
Published: Thursday, December 14th, 2023 @ 10:51 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Pulses increased throughout the sports world at a baseball game Tuesday night after a rogue fan abruptly jumped out of the stands and ran out onto the field, briefly turning it into a football game.
Published: Sunday, December 10th, 2023 @ 12:32 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The Iranian-backed terrorist group Hezbollah reportedly caused “heavy damage” to an Israeli military base on Monday after it launched a rocket and drone attack at the army base.
Published: Wednesday, December 6th, 2023 @ 1:23 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) released a video on Monday showing a tunnel belonging to the terrorist group Hamas that was located right next to the Rantisi Hospital inside Gaza.
Published: Tuesday, November 28th, 2023 @ 12:30 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local man spent the better part of Monday afternoon playing baseball with his son, tragically leaving him completely unaware of all the terrible things that were happening in the news.
Published: Thursday, November 23rd, 2023 @ 3:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In an effort to draw more fans to baseball, the MLB has done its best to make the sport less like baseball.
Published: Sunday, November 12th, 2023 @ 5:36 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Israel Defense Forces released video showing an elite commando unit recapturing one of their military posts that was overrun by Palestinian terrorists from Hamas last weekend.
Published: Monday, October 23rd, 2023 @ 8:20 am
By: Daily Wire
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After being swept by the Diamondbacks in humiliating fashion, the Los Angeles Dodgers were left wondering if perhaps they ought to have spent more time practicing baseball and less time honoring Satanic nuns dressed in drag.
Published: Monday, October 23rd, 2023 @ 8:09 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The God of the Universe shouted in excited shock today as a batter pointed directly at Him after belting a home run.
Published: Thursday, October 19th, 2023 @ 9:02 am
By: Babylon Bee
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"Mr. Oriole" set standard for all 3rd basemen; his humility made him a tremendously beloved figure in Baltimore
Published: Saturday, October 7th, 2023 @ 11:31 pm
By: Daily Wire
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The popular local independent league baseball club — the Eagles — has enjoyed a long history of tradition here in town, but that legacy had been put in danger after the club sold the naming rights to its beloved ballpark, renaming its home Corporate Financial Insurance Bank Ser
Published: Tuesday, September 5th, 2023 @ 12:23 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In the middle of what would eventually be a 9-3 drubbing against the Minnesota Twins, Kansas City Royals announcers spent hours searching for new ways to spice up the broadcast by talking about anything other than the game going on in front of them.
Published: Thursday, August 31st, 2023 @ 4:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A company suspected of being linked to Communist China that bought over 50,000 acres of land near a California Air Force base is suing farmers, claiming they inflated the cost of the sale.
Published: Thursday, August 17th, 2023 @ 1:37 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Communist China is reportedly planning on building a military base in northern Cuba, approximately 100 miles off the coast of Florida, sending U.S. officials into a panic over how to respond.
Published: Tuesday, July 4th, 2023 @ 6:09 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Williams is teaming up with a Catholic app for a prayer challenge the same day the Dodgers honor the drag group
Published: Monday, June 26th, 2023 @ 9:08 am
By: Daily Wire
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In a decision viewed as yet another part of the logical progression of the team's descent into otherworldly evil, the Los Angeles Dodgers have announced the team will replace the traditional 7th-Inning Stretch and its accompanying singing of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
Published: Friday, June 23rd, 2023 @ 2:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A large group of demonstrators protested the Los Angeles Dodgers honoring a drag troupe of self-described “queer and trans nuns” on Friday.
Published: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023 @ 5:07 pm
By: Daily Wire
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In an effort to further smooth things over following the controversial decision to re-invite LGBTQ+ activist group Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Los Angeles Dodgers have now summoned Satan himself to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at Pride Night.
Published: Wednesday, June 21st, 2023 @ 10:01 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Communist China has reached a deal with Cuba to build an electronic eavesdropping base in the island country — around 100 miles off the American coast, U.S. officials told The Wall Street Journal.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 12:26 am
By: Daily Wire
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A local little league baseball game was brought to a halt over the weekend after confusion arose over who the crowd was cheering.
Published: Tuesday, June 6th, 2023 @ 11:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The historic leader in primetime cable ratings Fox News was dominated last night by an unemployed man filming a selfie video in his partially-finished basement.
Published: Monday, May 29th, 2023 @ 10:06 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A historic change is set to take place in the landscape of Major League Baseball, as the Oakland Athletics announced plans to purchase land in Las Vegas, Nevada to build a new stadium and relocate.
Published: Friday, May 19th, 2023 @ 2:09 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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It looks like even the Oakland Athletics are joining the mass exodus of Californians fleeing for a better life.
Published: Monday, May 1st, 2023 @ 6:32 pm
By: Daily Wire
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As a part of Major League Baseball's new push to both speed up the pace of games and make them more exciting for spectators, it was announced that pitchers who violate the new pitch clock will then be dropped into a pit of hungry alligators as punishment.
Published: Thursday, April 13th, 2023 @ 11:36 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A New Jersey mom is suing her local police chief and high-ranking officials at a nearby Air Force Base, alleging they targeted her and portrayed her as a security threat after she spoke out about the sexually graphic material on display in an elementary school.
Published: Thursday, April 6th, 2023 @ 8:11 am
By: Daily Wire
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