Ball Park Loses Some Charm After Being Renamed ‘Corporate Financial Insurance Bank Services Park’ | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SPRINGFIELD, U.S.A.    The popular local independent league baseball club - the Eagles - has enjoyed a long history of tradition here in town, but that legacy had been put in danger after the club sold the naming rights to its beloved ballpark, renaming its home Corporate Financial Insurance Bank Services Park.

    "It's a bit of a mouthful," said the club's General Manager, Andrew Shoaf. "We know the fans have been attached to the old ballpark name, but these big companies are shelling out serious money for naming rights these days, and we'll take all the revenue we can get."

    The team's ballpark, known as Ol' Rickety Crenshaw Tri-County Polo Grounds for decades, will now be contractually obligated to be called by its new name. Though many fans have voiced displeasure with the name change, team officials are confident the loyal fanbase will rally behind the new branding. "We know it's a big change," Shoaf said. "We thought about trying to shorten it to an acronym, CFIBS Park, but we felt that might make people think of irritable bowel syndrome. The fans will eventually get used to it...right?"

    Not all fans were willing to embrace the renamed stadium. "What the heck is Corporate Financial Insurance Bank Services anyway?" asked baseball fan T.J. Staples. "Where's the history? Where's the heritage? The ballpark should be Ol' Rickety Crenshaw Tri-County Polo Grounds! C'mon!"

    At publishing time, the club was hoping for a good turnout at the upcoming homestand, though team executives were unsure how fans would react to their upcoming plan to sell the naming rights to the team itself, rebranding it as the Springfield International Centre for Entrepreneurial Development and Consultation Limiteds.