Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced the separation from his wife of 18 years Tuesday, shocking millions of Canadians who reportedly had no clue the effeminate leader had been married this whole time, least of all to a woman.
Published: Friday, September 29th, 2023 @ 4:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A strange cocaine-like substance discovered at a federal court Wednesday definitely did not belong to Hunter Biden despite it being found on his courtroom chair.
Published: Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 @ 1:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
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An unexpected period of sudden transition swept through the nation's capital today after the White House announced President Joe Biden had to be put down after yet another incident in which he bit a baby.
Published: Monday, September 25th, 2023 @ 9:29 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The infamous unsolved murder of rapper Tupac Shakur on the streets of Las Vegas, once thought to be a hit by the Southside Crips, is now believed to be the work of none other than former President Donald J. Trump, who authorities believe acted alone.
Published: Saturday, September 23rd, 2023 @ 10:19 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Former President Donald Trump has announced that he will make Vivek Ramaswamy head of Tech Support in his next administration.
Published: Saturday, September 23rd, 2023 @ 3:38 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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What a guy! As more evidence continues to emerge regarding Biden's selling influence and favors to foreign governments for bribe money, The President has announced he will be selflessly donating the remainder of his bribe money to charity.
Published: Friday, September 22nd, 2023 @ 5:18 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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With the rumor mill still churning despite the Secret Service closing its investigation, President Joe Biden blamed the presence of cocaine in the West Wing of the White House on a black man who used to live there.
Published: Monday, September 18th, 2023 @ 2:54 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After watching her grandfather gnaw on a baby on live television, four-year-old Navy Roberts was reportedly relieved that President Biden had disowned her.
Published: Sunday, September 17th, 2023 @ 7:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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As New York City continues to face a growing crisis due to ongoing waves of illegal migrants flooding into the city, Mayor Eric Adams reached out to the state of Texas to ask if they still had any of those cowboys with the whips.
Published: Monday, September 11th, 2023 @ 7:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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With a wedding hanging in the balance after running out of booze, Satan stepped up to miraculously turn water into Bud Light.
Published: Sunday, September 10th, 2023 @ 11:14 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The nation was rocked to its core this week after a substance later determined to be cocaine was found in the West Wing of the White House.
Published: Saturday, September 9th, 2023 @ 1:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In a thrilling viral television moment, MSNBC host Rachel Maddow snorted a line of cocaine on air to prove to the world that it's a completely natural substance and no big deal at all.
Published: Tuesday, September 5th, 2023 @ 4:35 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Joe Biden's pledge during the 2020 Presidential Election to restore decency and integrity to the White House has been fulfilled, as testing revealed the cocaine found on the premises this week was truly of the highest quality.
Published: Thursday, August 31st, 2023 @ 4:10 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The president is missing! A source confirmed late Tuesday night that President Biden, apparently spooked by Independence Day fireworks, piddled on a rug before bolting in terror into the woods behind the White House.
Published: Wednesday, August 30th, 2023 @ 11:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, a female comic has broken a world record after going a full six seconds into her stand-up bit without mentioning her vagina even once. The previous record held by Amy Schumer was a mere 2 seconds.
Published: Tuesday, August 15th, 2023 @ 5:29 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A local 10-year-old boy has died tragically of severe trauma due to his mother taking away his Nintendo Switch for a few days.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 6:15 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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President Volodymyr Zelensky breathed a sigh of relief Monday after learning an attempted coup in Russia had failed, all but guaranteeing that war with Russia would continue, possibly forever.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 1:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Members of the media were left confused today after White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre deployed a smoke bomb on the ground and disappeared in a cloud when questioned about Hunter Biden's incriminating text messages with a Chinese Communist operative.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 12:07 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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The Department of Justice announced they have found zero evidence of bribery in a photograph of Hunter Biden carrying a bag of cash next to President Biden holding a sign that reads, "Will Trade Political Favors 4 Cash."
Published: Saturday, August 12th, 2023 @ 9:39 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Following the embarrassing accounting blunder that resulted in an additional $6.2 billion being sent to Ukraine, Department of Defense officials announced another $40 billion had been discovered underneath some couch cushions at the Pentagon.
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 5:34 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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As usual, the vicious right-wing media is dragging another noble, upstanding Democratic politician through the mud with false allegations. It can sometimes be difficult to discern the truth about these great liberal leaders from all the lies of dangerous conspiracy theorists.
Published: Sunday, August 6th, 2023 @ 9:23 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Congressman Adam Schiff was left in wide-eyed shock after the House of Representatives voted to censure him for lying to the American people about Trump/Russia collusion.
Published: Thursday, August 3rd, 2023 @ 1:35 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The five-year criminal investigation of Hunter Biden came to a close this morning, with the presiding judge finding Hunter guilty of "being a lovable rascal with a heart of gold."
Published: Tuesday, August 1st, 2023 @ 6:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A brief commotion arose outside the Delaware District Court today, as Hunter Biden was seen trying to weigh large quantities of crack cocaine on the scales held by a statue of Lady Justice.
Published: Saturday, July 29th, 2023 @ 3:44 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In response to widespread public outcry following the indictment of former President Donald Trump, Joe Biden has ordered the military to shoot anyone who dares to refer to the United States as a "banana republic."
Published: Saturday, July 22nd, 2023 @ 12:26 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A brief commotion arose on the White House lawn today, as a Secret Service agent could be heard shouting "Spit it out! Spit it out right this instant!" as he chased President Joe Biden out onto the grass.
Published: Wednesday, July 19th, 2023 @ 11:07 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Outraged at Florida continuing to send flights of illegal immigrants to California, Governor Gavin Newsom has vowed retaliation by continuing to send tens of thousands of Californians to Florida, as he has been for years.
Published: Sunday, July 16th, 2023 @ 9:24 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Hosts of the daytime talk show The View completely shut down Republican candidate Tim Scott's claim of tremendous racial progress in America by donning Klan hoods, sources say.
Published: Sunday, July 16th, 2023 @ 1:37 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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One solitary housewife has announced her personal boycott of Target, a move that is expected to cost the retail giant millions of dollars in revenue each year.
Published: Sunday, June 18th, 2023 @ 9:26 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Amid startling allegations of a bribery scheme that involved foreign nationals giving the Biden family millions of dollars in exchange for policy changes, the President spoke to journalists this morning on the White House lawn.
Published: Tuesday, June 13th, 2023 @ 12:25 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After John Durham's newly released report confirmed the Trump-Russia collusion narrative was entirely fabricated, several notable media figures admitted they lied to the American people for 3 years but promised that they're totally telling the truth about everything else.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 9:04 am
By: Babylon Bee
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According to sources, the prophet Ezekiel is absolutely kicking himself for not thinking to patent a recipe for sprouted flourless bread prepared over cow dung because he imagined no one in their right mind would want to eat it.
Published: Monday, June 12th, 2023 @ 8:15 am
By: Babylon Bee
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The mainstream media has been heaping praise on President Biden for finally drawing a larger crowd than former President Trump. According to reports, hundreds of thousands are gathering in El Paso and it's all because of President Biden.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 10:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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In an effort to finally clean up the streets, San Francisco announced they will release several packs of monkeys into the city to help fling away all the poo.
Published: Sunday, June 11th, 2023 @ 6:13 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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