Kavanaugh Eases Tensions With Protesters By Throwing Good, Old-Fashioned Kegger | Beaufort County Now | Following the leak of the Supreme Court opinion that could overturn Roe V. Wade, hundreds of abortion advocates traveled to protest outside the homes of the conservative Justices.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHEVY CHASE, MARYLAND     Following the leak of the Supreme Court opinion that could overturn Roe V. Wade, hundreds of abortion advocates traveled to protest outside the homes of the conservative Justices. As the outraged mob closed in on Brett Kavanaugh's home, he was left with only one choice to ease the tensions: throw a good old-fashioned kegger.

    "WHO'S READY FOR AN EPIC RAGER?!" shouted Justice Kavanaugh bursting out of his front door carrying a keg full of beer overhead. "Time to get this party started. Let the beer bash begin! WHOO!"

    According to sources, the angry, riled-up crowd was so confused by this move they forgot entirely what they were mad about in the first place. The next thing they knew Kavanaugh was handing out red solo cups, bumping a sick playlist, and starting up a game of beer pong. "Did he just...aren't we supposed to be-," stuttered Amanda Ferguson, a Kavanaugh protestor who was moments before there to intimidate, and harass the Justice and his family. "This is actually... pretty fun... I guess... I guess this guy's alright!"

    As the night went on, the crowd continued getting absolutely sloshed with Justice Kavanaugh. Witnesses claim at one point Kavanaugh jumped off the roof and landed a massive cannonball nearly draining the entire pool. "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" they shouted as Brett hopped up on the table executing a flawless kegstand. "I can't believe I wanted to burn this guy's house down. This man is an absolute legend."

    At publishing time, just as they were all about to do jello shots with Brett, someone yelled "cops!" forcing everyone to scram. The protestors later decided to protest at Justice Amy Coney Barrett's home but were greeted with fresh-baked cookies and juice boxes.

With respect to the leaked opinion not yet written for ratification regarding the U.S. Supreme Court's revisiting the original decision of Roe v Wade, whence now nonstop protests have erupted in neighborhoods where U.S. Supreme Court justices live, exhibiting the firm intent to intimidate these officers of the highest court in the land: What action should the federal authorities take?
  Do nothing ... Protests are a fixture of a free society.
  Enforce the law ... Federal codes exist to prohibit any intimidation through the pubic harassment of federal judges, especially Supreme Court justices.
  I have no idea, however, northern Virginia School Board Members must be shielded from protests at all costs.
159 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Concerned Graduates of West Point and the Long Grey Line
Vice President Kamala Harris has suffered a steady exodus out of her office amid reports that she is a bully and runs a dysfunctional operation.
The North Carolina State Health Plan and the National Academy for State Health Policy Find that North Carolina's Seven Largest Hospital Systems Reaped Billions of Dollars in Cash, Investments and Profits After Taking COVID Relief
During day six of the trial of alleged sexual groomer and abuser Ghislaine Maxwell, a woman testified that when she was 17 years old, Maxwell asked her to find other young girls to perform oral sex on late convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
defeats protege of incumbnet who was backed by teachers union
According to sources, Biden was seen outside a gas station this afternoon yelling at the big price sign to lower its prices.


The Heritage Foundation has filed a lawsuit against President Joe Biden's administration demanding the release of documents related to the investigation of mounted Border Patrol agents.
The trouble is, eventually you run out of other people's money to spend=Margaret Thatcher
conservatives take out one of two RINO congressmen in Mississippi
On June 14, pro-abortion terrorist group “Jane’s Revenge” claimed credit for numerous attacks on pro-life centers around the country, including the June 7 attack on Mountain Area Pregnancy Services (MAPS) in Asheville.
Ruby Rose, who played Kate Kane in the CW’s “Batwoman” TV Show, claimed last week that she left the show in 2020 because of terrible working conditions.
58 percent of postsecondary educational institutions now employ a post-tenure review process. This is up from 46 percent in 2000.
Two former Tesla employees filed suit against the automaker on Sunday for allegedly violating federal law through its decision to lay off much of its staff.


Back to Top