Wife Proposes 'Household Debt Reduction Act' Where She Spends Thousands Of Dollars At Target | Eastern North Carolina Now | This week, Courtney Lindeen presented her husband Aaron with a bold and innovative plan to solve the family's consumer debt burden.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KENNEWICK, WA     This week, Courtney Lindeen presented her husband Aaron with a bold and innovative plan to solve the family's consumer debt burden. Her proposal included $5,000 of spending per month at Target, which she explained would help lower the family's debt.

    "If approved, the 'Household Debt Reduction Act' will set us on a trajectory to generate over $500,000 in new top-line revenue - the initial investment will be offset over the long term!" Sources confirm that Courtney unveiled the full plan in a series of slides, demonstrating her mantra that "You have to spend money to make money!"

    After closing out her presentation and opening up for questions, Courtney fielded objections from her husband, including his pressing on how spending money would save money. She explained that the name of the plan was "Household Debt Reduction Act," helping ensure that even increased expenditure would reduce debt.

    "I'm just not following - if we got into debt from overspending at Target, how could more spending at Target cut the debt?" Aaron Lindeen later confirmed that he regretted asking, as he quickly became educated about the dire consequences if he did not execute the proposed plan, including the deaths of thousands, the end of the earth, and a 50% reduction in trail mix and new furniture in the house.

    At publishing time, Aaron Lindeen had demonstrated leadership by agreeing to his wife's plan, though not before requesting amendments for golf gear earmarks. The earmarks were not included in the final version of the bill.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt dominated Tuesday night in the Republican primary race for state’s U.S. Senate seat.
Non-woke comic book creator Eric July announced that he has raised more than $3.3 million to put out his new comic book, something he called an “alternative to the mainstream” and to the social/political push in the genre.
N.C. Republican Congressional delegation outraged at FBI raid on former President Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago home in Florida.
Russia shot down a satellite in space on Monday, marking the first time Russia has shown the ability to shoot down objects in space using weapon systems on earth.
The two books of my summer reading paint a picture of America that is both unsettling and understandable. Anne Applebaum is an award - winning historian and prizewinning author.
Archaeologists at a public dig site in New Jersey have discovered human remains and artifacts belonging to soldiers in the American Revolution.
Lower income taxes allow people to keep more of their hard-earned money and spend it on their needs
In a ruling released on Friday, a judge struck down a San Francisco city ordinance allowing non-citizens to vote in school board elections.
So often we find ourselves eager to see a new episode of Stranger Things. We will immediately drop whatever it is we are doing, cancel plans, and sit for hours watching closely, hanging on every word.

HbAD1

Allies of Vice President Kamala Harris suggested in a report published by CNN that the Biden administration was racist for not doing more to defend Harris publicly as her poll numbers sink so low that some reports have stated that she is the least popular vice president since the 1970s.
Joshua Rohrer, a homeless veteran with PTSD, was arrested Oct. 13, 2021, for panhandling and resisting arrest.
Democrat Max Baucus, former President Barack Obama’s U.S. Ambassador to China, told CNN Tuesday afternoon that communist China views Biden as weak.
I watched with great interest the small comments made by DOJ Attorney General Merrick Garland, in an even shorter press conference, about a most serious matter, and yet, I took nothing he said seriously.
Critics on social media lambasted a column arguing that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is the best hope for Democrats to win the 2024 presidential election.
LGBTQ+ activists claim schools should affirm gender identity, create welcoming school cultures, and facilitate the transition process
Chinese communist dictator Xi Jinping threatened Democrat President Joe Biden during a meeting between the two world leaders on Monday night, saying that the U.S. “will get burned” if it assists an independent Taiwan.
The question of whether to ease credentialing requirements in North Carolina childcare centers continues to bubble up in meetings of the N.C. Childcare Commission.
The Department of Justice sued the state of Idaho on Tuesday over its near-universal ban on abortions, the first lawsuit of its kind since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.

HbAD2

Former ABC News executive producer Shelley Ross slammed a small cable news channel this week for hiring disgraced former CNN host Chris Cuomo, calling Cuomo the “same old arrogant, misogynistic proud member of the old boy’s club.”
Former President Donald J. Trump was seen fleeing on a golf cart while shouting defiantly at federal agents Monday. Witnesses claim he led authorities on a daring chase that reached speeds of up to 30 Mph.
The Daily Wire appears to be the lead plaintiff in challenging Democrat President Joe Biden’s vaccine mandate after the Ohio-based 6th US Circuit Court of Appeals was chosen to take on the issue following a ping-pong ball lottery.
Dr. Terry Stoops, director of the Center for Effective Education at the John Locke Foundation, discusses a proposal to change the way North Carolina pays public school teachers.
In the name of equity, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) announced on Monday that it supports allowing colleges to racially discriminate when deciding the admission of certain applicants.
The world’s tallest tree is no longer open to visitors, and those who try to visit it anyway could be fined $5,000 and have to serve up to six months behind bars.
Robert Gates, the secretary of defense under former President Barack Obama, said that President Joe Biden’s disastrous pullout from Afghanistan made him physically sick to watch because it did not have to be as bad as it was.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top