After Dismissing Warnings From His Mother, Tucker Carlson's Face Is Now Stuck That Way | Eastern North Carolina Now | Fox News personality and host of Tucker Carlson Tonight was informed by his doctor today that his look of befuddlement is permanent.

Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    GASPARILLA ISLAND, FL     Fox News personality and host of Tucker Carlson Tonight was informed by his doctor today that his look of befuddlement is permanent. Sources close to Mr. Carlson have confirmed that he had not heeded his mother's admonition: "If you keep making that face, you'll get stuck with it, young man!"

    Carlson's wife was reportedly dismayed by the news. "I'll never see him smile again!" she wept while Tucker stared with a blank, yet frustrated look in the background. "His mother warned him all the time when he was growing up not to make that face and now - now he keeps staring at me with that blank look of utter confusion as if he's waiting for me to say something stupid!"

    Tucker Carlson has been noted for listening intently to his guests, with his body language and facial language conveying absolute attention without a shred of commitment. Mr. Carlson has also been praised for his ability to listen to canned talking points and then deconstruct their assumptions and inconsistencies with relentless focus, paving the way with an expression of lowered eyebrows, head cocked to nearly 90 degrees, and a mouth gaping open at 50% capacity.

    At publishing time, Tucker was forced to verbally acknowledge the severity of his condition after his doctor became frustrated by Tucker's befuddled expression.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Amazon Delivers Another Pile Of Unwanted Crap To Your House Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Biden Condemns Fascism In Speech While Also Debuting Attractive New Mustache


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

The Heritage Foundation will release a new ranking of educational freedom among the states on Friday, according to a report from The Wall Street Journal.
Local father Justin Walker works 60 hours a week, helps with the kids and housework, plays in a church softball league, volunteers for Sunday service, and does yard work on the weekends.
Woke Hollywood is going gaga over a movie about a gay cannibal, but for normal people, one of the summer’s biggest hits is a documentary that began with a simple question: “What is a Woman?”
RX Industries, of South Carolina, has announced the completion of its expansion in Beaufort County (SC).
Welcome to the second part of this week’s Midterm Exam — complete with tidbits and stories from races around the country. Extensive midterm coverage, and more detailed reports, can be found here.
North Carolina can take a pension away from the period of time that a person is indicted or convicted of embezzlement or a sex crime, etc. under a felony forfeiture law.
A screenshot of an excerpt from a sex education book that recommends parents invite their young children into bed to watch while they have sexual relations circulated on social media on Thursday.
Everyone is either a member of a family, or has close association with a family that is forced to shelter a pathetic character, ignobly tolerated; a family member that exists only to be a monumental embarrassment on their best days; their worst days are horror stories.

HbAD1

Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-GA) is a 53-year-old reverend from Atlanta, Georgia, currently seeking re-election against GOP nominee Herschel Walker. The most recent polls show that Walker is expected to defeat Warnock in November.
The people of Martha's Vineyard are facing a border crisis, with immigrants being shipped in from Florida by the planeload.
A new study published Monday revealed trace amounts of COVID vaccine mRNAs were found in the breast milk of some lactating women.
The New Orleans Police Department has turned to hiring civilians to fill staffing needs as it faces ongoing violent crime in the city.
Former “Fox News Sunday” anchor Chris Wallace’s CNN show debuted with lackluster ratings — losing big to his former network’s Sunday evening show hosted by former Congressman Trey Gowdy (R-SC).
Greetings, human. Long have I waited for you to unlatch the screen door that once kept me from entering your domain — that confounding portal I can see through but not fly through for some reason.
While members of the royal family are rushing to be at Queen Elizabeth II‘s bedside as she remains under medical supervision, Meghan Markle is reportedly not making the trip.

HbAD2

NASA intentionally crashed an un-crewed vending machine-sized spacecraft into an asteroid Monday to test our defenses should a similar object ever threaten planet Earth.
It is, as Ronald Reagan so eloquently put it in the campaign speech he delivered on October 27, 1964 in support of Republican presidential candidate, Barry Goldwater. That memorable speech has been titled
A Sunday poll from ABC News and The Washington Post found that the Republican Party leads the Democratic Party on economic issues by double-digit margins.
This week, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis flew 50 migrants to an affluent island in Massachusetts to highlight the struggles of border states whose resources are buckling amid soaring numbers of undocumented immigrants.
Sen. Mark Kelly (D-AZ) is under pressure to hold his Senate seat in a political climate unfavorable to Democrats amid soaring inflation under a historically unpopular Democratic president.
California gas prices are going up, while legislators recently took action to make it more difficult to drill for oil and gas in the Golden State.
Former President Donald Trump slammed former Attorney General William Barr after Barr criticized him during a Fox News interview late this week, claiming that Barr had “no guts.”
The Grunwald family was enjoying a nice day together this morning as Mr. Grunwald got ready for work and Mrs. Grunwald packed the kids' lunches. But this paradisical scene was not to last.
Two volunteers campaigning for Texas Republican Gov. Greg Abbott were reportedly attacked on Saturday by a man who damaged their car.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top