What Your Favorite Book Of The Bible Says About You | Eastern NC Now

The Holy Bible represents God's complete revelation to mankind. Every word of it is inspired by God and useful for the teaching, correcting, and equipping of the saints.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The Holy Bible represents God's complete revelation to mankind. Every word of it is inspired by God and useful for the teaching, correcting, and equipping of the saints. But - like most people - you probably play favorites with the oracles of God and think some parts of it are more interesting than others.

    Here's what your favorite book of the Bible says about you:

  • Song of Solomon: You're a teenage boy.
  • Psalms: You're spiritual, not religious.
  • Joel: Your name is Joel.
  • TWO Corinthians: You're a YUGE fan of the Bible, maybe the biggest fan ever. No one has done more for Christianity than you. You hate fake news.
  • Leviticus: You're a Rabbi. Or maybe Amish.
  • Romans: You're a right-wing misogynist!
  • Tobit: What? That's not a real book! Oh wait, you're Catholic!
  • Job: You feel unnecessarily persecuted or you love dinosaurs.
  • Habakkuk: You like to shut down people who say "So, what's your favorite book of the Bible?"
  • Love Wins by Rob Bell: Looks like you're a progressive Christian. Can we interest you in a Bible study?
  • You don't have a favorite book, they're just all so good: Teacher's pet.
  • Esther: You're a huge fan of historical fiction novels with strong female leads set in Bible times written by Francine Rivers.
  • Ruth: Every time you close your eyes you dream about Boaz. Mmm, Boaz.
  • Revelation: You're either a doomsday prepper or a Calvary Chapel pastor.
  • Genesis: Oh no! You're Ken Ham!

Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Ozturk's detention became a flashpoint in President Trump's mass deportation campaign.
(RALEIGH) Today, Governor Stein announced he has signed one bill into law.

HbAD1

Mexican equivalent of ICE conducting raids on migrants in Mexico City
“President Trump has always been clear about short-term disruptions as a result of Operation Epic Fury."

HbAD2

ruling leaves congressional districts intact = huge blow to Spanberger
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic
If you are covering Roy Cooper in Greensboro today, please consider the following statement from the Republican National Committee:

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top