41,000 Hours Of January 6 Tapes Reveal AOC Died 13,941 Times | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     After House Speaker Kevin McCarthy released uncut footage from the January 6 riot to Fox News host Tucker Carlson, sources are reporting the biggest bombshell from the tapes is the revelation that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez died 13,491 times during the riot.

    "In AOC's next death, the footage shows the insurrectionists going stall-to-stall in the bathrooms and growling that they were going to 'get AOC,' followed by cutting to black - more clear evidence that they 'got' her." CNN's Jake Tapper emphasized the ominous word "got" before removing his glasses to convey he had grown misty-eyed at the thought of AOC dying for the 7,919th time.

    AOC has weighed in on Twitter, both to praise the network's "AOC Death Counter" in the lower-left corner of the screen, and to call attention to the root causes of her death. "I wouldn't have been killed the first 7,918 times if not for these repressed conservatives calling attention to the effects of my policies - it was only a matter of time that all this white supremacy, stochastic terrorism, and character assassination would lead to another real assassination of me. Ooh, look, the counter just jumped again...a moment of silence for me. #RIPAOC"

    The New York representative has continued to live-tweet CNN's coverage of her deaths, tweeting the "skull" emoji with each death. At publishing time, she Tweeted "Why are the numbers going up when there's one less of me every time I died on that fateful day? We need Congress to get to the bottom of this."

poll#176

Considering the renewed and unequalled dishonesty in elected politicians, at all levels of governing, and their associative nefarious bureaucrats doing their corrupt bidding: What is your opinion of YOUR government, and what do you intend to do about it?

  Today's overall government is just fine, and I will continue to vote for politicians that make promises to suit my individual needs.

  Today's overall government is poor, but I will continue to endeavor to learn what is true from the the most honest of media, and pick those representatives that best represent what is good and decent.

  I spend quite a bit of time on Eastern NC NOW; so ... I am having a far easier time separating the proverbial "wheat from the chaff" in finding honorable citizens to support.

60 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?