10 Ingenious Ways To Avoid Paying Taxes

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Under the cover of Covid, and now in the shadow of the infamous Election Irregularities of that fated 2020 presidential election, with current emerging alleged election fraud in Nevada and Pennsylvania inconveniently slipping into the public discourse, there is proved a colluded ongoing Election Interference in the nomination of the Republican candidate, the likes of which has never occurred in our Constitutional Republic's history, albeit, the question remains: Do you support the plain-sight Election Interference of the Democratic Socialist party, employing its minions in their Propagandistic Media, and their Two Tiered Justice System?

98.86% No, I do not support Election Interference; I am a patriot unto our Constitution.

1.14% Yes, I do support Election Interference; the alternative, Donald Trump, to this mentally diminished president is far worse.

0% "What, me worry" if elections are rigged?

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Published: Wednesday, September 13th, 2023 @ 10:44 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Unless you're a total weirdo, it's unlikely you consider paying taxes the best part of being an American. Fortunately for you, there are some creative and innovative ways to avoid paying your taxes. That's right, avoiding paying taxes IS possible - you just have to know how to do it!

    Our team at The Babylon Bee is here to provide you with some of these new ideas!

Launder your money through Ukraine and start a war to cover it up: It's a fool-proof plan (or it has been so far, at least!)
Be poor: Poor people don't have to pay taxes. Be like one of those poors.
When they come to audit you say "You'll always remember this as the day you almost caught [say your name]" and then leap to your waiting pirate ship: Highly effective.
Be the President's son: It's a little-known fact that having your dad be the President means you can basically do whatever illegal activities you want.
Develop a drug problem severe enough that the authorities won't even notice your tax delinquency: Also, be the President's son.
Offer the IRS a choice between your tax payment or whatever is in a mystery box: The joke's on them - when they inevitably choose the mystery box, it's full of bees.
Become a wealthy megachurch pastor and list all expenses as "ministry-related": "Ministry jet," "ministry yacht," "ministry PS5." Plus, as a pastor, you can even hide all your cash in the walls of your megachurch.
Claim 15 million illegal immigrants as your dependents: It would be hard for the government to say it's not true.
Explain to the IRS that all your debts were paid on the cross: Thank you, Lord!
Start a Revolutionary War: As long as the IRS is across the ocean and only armed with muskets, you should be just fine.